Gaming Ridiculousness: The Bible Online
As both a Christian and a pastor, I’m constantly on the lookout for Bible-themed games and movies that don’t — how shall I put this? — scrape the bottom of the quality barrel. I don’t know if it’s just a question of funding or the mentality of some developers and directors who assume that if you slap faith onto a product, it excuses shoddy execution. But the truth is that there’s just an embarrassing amount of half-cooked Bible games and faith-based movies out there that generally have no idea what to do with themselves and become overly preachy in the process.
It’s not all of them, mind you — there are a few terrific faith-based movies and perhaps one or two Bible games I wouldn’t instantly throw in the trash, but they tend to be few and far between. But when I saw FIAA’s idea of a Bible-themed MMO with The Bible Online, it didn’t take more than a half-second to declare it a train wreck in the making.
Really, it wouldn’t be a blip on anyone’s radar if it wasn’t for the biblical overlay; it looks pretty much like a ton of other Facebook town builder games out there, just with 100% more scripture thrown in. Call it Rule 38 of the internet: If a popular IP exists, someone eventually will try to make a MMO of it.
The funny thing is that this doesn’t seem to be a game made by well-intentioned if wildly untalented Christians — instead, the entire site gives a feel of someone who’s read magazine articles about the Bible and picked up most of his or her knowledge of it through pop culture. For example, the front page has this cherry of a sentence:
“In this chapter of the game, you can meet ‘Abraham’ and his descendants, who are the first ancestors of humans chosen by the God and the real heroes of the Bible.”
I almost don’t know where to begin here. Why is Abraham in quotes? Was that his stage name? “By the God”? Were these humans chosen by God AND the real heroes, as the sentence implies? Nevermind that they weren’t the first people chosen by God in the Bible.
And the innards of the site get better and better — classic Biblical characters who are whiter than white, and soldiers who seem more inspired by the Middle Ages than antiquity:
Yup, lots of Old Testament priests toting around crosses, not to mention cavalry with stirrups.
I guess I don’t get who they’re marketing this botched project to. I’m assuming it’s aimed at believers, what with all the Bible verses and forced attempts at fitting gameplay elements into a biblical mold, but I can’t see this being a hit in any demographic, especially since it gets even the most basic biblical facts wrong. So the end result is something that everyone, believers and non-believers alike, are throwing rotten tomatoes at. Splendid.
So the question is, is it possible to make a good, workable Bible MMO? It’s really hard to see any avenue that would work here, because no matter how you approach it, it stands to alienate a lot of folks. Make it too militaristic, and I know quite a few of the most strict Christian parents wouldn’t let their kids play it on principle. Make it too preachy, and it comes across as a heavy-handed lecture. And outside of combat, how do you work in themes of grace, forgiveness and many other elements of faith — which are not as flashy as a triple-sword combo — into gameplay? You would want it to be fun for all, but also respectful because this is something that many consider deserving of reverence.
In mulling this over, one solution comes to mind: a VeggieTales MMO. In terms of Christian entertainment, VeggieTales is one of the best examples of a show that is well-made, pretty entertaining across the board, and comes up with creative ways to teach biblical principles without sermonizing. They’ve already created tons of fictional worlds for their stories (i.e., zones), and there’s a lot of potential for making your own personalized veggie who goes on a series of Free Realm-like adventures while actually learning a thing or two.
Other than that, not a lot comes to mind with bringing the Bible into a MMO. I don’t think there’s a huge sense of urgency to do so, other than to cash in on gullible gamers.
- Posted in: General
Oh yes, this reminds me of the old Wisdom Tree NES game Bible Adventures, which basically was almost exactly like Super Mario Brothers 2, except Noah would be holding towers of animals over his head to throw them in the Ark.
I think a decently good Bible MMO could be made, if it’s looked at from a historical perspective. But The Bible Online just sounds horrible.
I could see it working as a single-player RPG where you must gather clues to find Jesus, distinguish him from the false preachers, and evade Romans. Or play as the Romans and hunt down Jesus. I suspect the Roman faction would get cut.
As a MMO, I’m not sure how it would work. I guess the same thing but with other people around. The last supper is clearly a raid, but the loaves and fish, well let’s just say there is a very, very bored mage.
I don’t think you could really do a full-on Bible game. You’d likely have to chose portions of it to focus on as the game would be just too disjointed to do all the stories and you’d have to contend with all the various schools of though on books like Leviticus and Job.
In any case, it reminds me a lot of entertainment that is produced specifically for the LGBT set. We get these movies that are just plain awful and completely not representative of real gay life with just a few jewels of real quality.
I wonder if it’s just a niche market thing. Like you said, there are some very passionate people that perhaps lack the talent to properly follow through… Or, the cynic (that’s me!) might say that there are a few people with some money in their pocket thinking that “Games are popular right now. What else is popular…. I know! That whole Christian-thingamabob! Great, lets make a game based on that, it’ll sell billions!”
I don’t think the world in general has cottoned onto the fact that there are certain things that cannot be translated into certain other things. Taking something as sensitive as a person’s faith and taking a set of works that is subject to thousands of years of interpretation and translation is not a great base set of rules for an MMO. While I think that there are many facets of the bible that are great to try and bring to a more mainstream audience, once you label something with a religious context you are already opening yourself up for a tirade. Speaking myself as a Christian also, I wouldn’t touch this with a 100ft pole as normally most mainstream media trying to market itself off faith is just not going to work.
I do not think it could work.. ever. No matter how you spin things and the quality you have anytime I’ve seen a product done that touched on faith there’s always someone somewhere to find fault with it and start some sort of crusade.
You talked about Veggie tales being good christian entertainment. When I was younger I remember people in my church saying it wasn’t appropriate because they felt some of the themes din’t mesh well with a good christian story.
So no matter how you do the MMO there’s going to be people agaisnt it (the internet is bad to begin with according to some) and the non-christian will have no interest at all.
Like ZombiePirate said, we need to let the Bible be the Bible and not try to adapt it all the time.
I think Bible could lead to a fair solo adventure game. Or maybe a series of RTS (Bible Wars: Joshuah).
But how could you possibly create a MMORPG in which everyone plays (if I read correctly) the Chosen Tribe?
The only “Biblish” MMORPG I’d see would be a game in which people would choose their tribe (hebrew, assyrian, cananean, whatever), and which would lead to massive PvP. But on second thought, this would be a “Middle-East Antiquity” MMORPG, so let’s just forget about it.
Regards,
Skro
Solo game? Already exists. I remembered reading about it a couple of years back, and this article jogged my memory.
The promo vids look nice, though the use of Superman’s “Planet Krypton” music in it was a little odd. Still… it also looks rather cheesy, and the main character looks very bimbo-ish, not heavenly to my eyes.
Lol, I didn’t even consider looking at this game for long enough to see all the holes in their understanding — nice find.
I suspect rather than trying to be a faith-based interpretation of the bible into MMO city building form, I think they’re trying to make a “historical” game using the lands and characters described in the bible as a setting. Why do ancient china, egypt, or greece, when they could do the bible!?
Maybe?
I doubt the Bible can ever be adapted into an MMO, and I’m not sure I’d want it to be. If there was a way to make an MMO ministry that could convey Christian faith and principles in a compelling way, that would be great. Like some kind of Frank Peretti style spiritual warfare MMO set on modern day earth? Nah… probably not.
A Veggietales MMO would be brilliant. My younger three kids would LOVE it!
You gotta look at this as coming from the same angle as televangelism: it’s about emptying the wallets of believers as efficiently as possible.
As a non-believer and a person of religious doubt, this would be the equivalent of some desperate gaming company developing Richard Dawkins Online or World of HitchensCraft. Although I would appreciate the sentiment…I wouldn’t touch it with 100m pole. So much can be open to interpretation by the developors that would likley develop something completely different to my understanding and my views of it. Not to mention the cheese sandwhich factor of the thing would likely drive me Stalin.
And of coarse, how do make something from something that many consider “sacrid” when the makers ultimate bottom line is to make money? We know what happened with the experiements of Star Trek Online…purchasable Ferengi anbody? And Star Wars Galaxy…pink Wookies anyone? I could go on…but do you think Bible Online will stop at having “Sparkle Moses” sold on their item mall at Xmas time to boost sagging sales? My bet is they wouldn’t.
The reason most people balk at a bible game is those you have given above. Most often they are of the quality of a bad cartoon, so thats what people come to expect. I also expect it is the reason I get “you REALLY are a nun” when they find out who is behind the pixels.
How about a bible strategy game based on the old testament called “Masada” or “Jericho”. Perhaps a chance to replay history. After all don’t warfare games replay and rewrite history?
I signed up and gave it a quick shot but it was a truly boring game.
Ironically given how much bloodshed relgion has caused over the years and how violent some of the Bible is, I would’ve expected the game to have a lot more action in it