The RIFT Advent Calendar

Counting down until RIFT’s head start on the 24th!  Me too!  It helps not to think about it — I really hate the month before MMO launches, because I go crazy and everyone else goes crazy.  It’s like a teenage hormone overload (“I HATE YOU!  Oh wait, I totally love you!”) that I’d rather just duck my head down and skip.  But if you’re having a hard time doing so, here’s a two-week RIFT advent calendar to give you 14 ideas of how to pass the time:

14: Take a deep breath.  Smile.  Enjoy life.  Go for a walk.  Abandon walk after two minutes to rush back to the house, panting heavily for your need to reconnect to the internet and see if any new RIFT info has been released.

13: Make a resolution to become more active in the community.  Join the official forums and make a few cognizant posts with legitimate insight.  Read responses.  Scream loudly and weep bloody tears.

12: Make a second resolution to never use the official forums ever again.  Feel an overwhelming sense of peace about it.

11: Talk with a friend about the various merits of the different pre-order packages.  Eventually realize you’re debating the finer points of whether or not it is good to own a weird virtual pet, and hope that nobody else is listening in.

10: Participate in the beta, but not so much that you spoil your appetite for the main course.  Strip your character down to his or her skivvies and run through rifts like they were slip-n-slides.

9: Start up a RIFT blog or podcast to “get in on the ground floor.”  Bonus points if you can incorporate the word “Rift” into it without sounding like a clone of all the other ones.  Good luck with this — I’ve been there.

8: Start saying your good-byes to past or present MMO loves.  Caress them and tell them that it’s not them, it’s you, really.  Reminisce about the good times, and then hit the “Cancel Subscription” button so hard it gives a customer service rep a kidney bruise.

7: Read the RIFT comic books to, quote, “understand the lore better,” end quote.  Perhaps form a book club to digest the finer points of such luxurious prose.

6: With less than a week to go, search for a guild.  When you don’t find a good one within two minutes, panic and start sending in apps for guilds with Latin names that translate into “House of Bunny Fetishes.”

5: Go mad with the waiting and commit yourself to a local mental hospital.  When the nurse asks you to note your condition, check “Other” on the form.

4: Scan Twitter for any and all mentions of #Rift until it becomes a trending topic.

3: Go through a long, dark night of doubt as you wonder if you’re anticipating this game too much — and if it will fail you.  Feel the world crumble under your feet as uncertainty reigns.  Then get a Frosty from Wendy’s.

2: Counter night of doubt by going to a local tattoo parlor and getting a foot-wide RIFT panorama inked onto your back.  Make sure to take pictures so that the internet can point and laugh and feel generally superior.

1: Eh.  Crochet?

 

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• Posted in: RIFT