Rivs from A High Latency Life might be best-known for his… erm… provocative pictures he likes to put up with each of his posts. I gave him one of the most fun assignments I could think of: To pick the worst TV show to make an MMO from — and then speculate how he would make it work as a game.
When Syp asked me to write a post about the Worst TV show to make an MMO from, and how the mechanics would work. I thought long and hard, oh I thought of cartoons. Maybe a Carebear MMO, that would really empty out WoW, but the fact is I loved a lot of the older TV shows. How cool would a Thundercats MMO would be? This was going to be harder than I thought.
Then I turned to more realistic shows, I’m old so I remember a lot of that 80’s/90’s TV. Oh man a Facts of Life MMO would be horrible, then I thought some of these internet freaks might enjoy being a teenage girl, and what would you have to do Raid Mrs. Garret.
There’s one show that coming to mind, which I never did like, and would actually make a pretty terrible MMO to boot. That’s right Beverly Hills, 90210 or just 9021-Oh. The cheesy acting , the horrible plot lines, and Luke Perry’s sideburns. This MMO would have it all, and of course would be set in the 80’s.
Lets get down to the nitty gritty.
Character Creation
This process will be all about choices. Like if you choose a female you will have two types of Aquanet fueled high hair to choose from, or if you are male 8 different styles of sideburns. You will have stats such as Beauty, Vanity, Snobbiness, and Toolness. Unfortunately stats like Wisdom, and Intelligence had to be cut in Beta.
We will have several classes – like the Poser which is our rogue class, with you’re wanna be power to disguise yourself as hip hop to spring on your potential enemies. There is our healer class, the Good Friend which will listen to your problems, and give you the biggest windbag advice possible. Then finally our Tough Guy Tool class, which will be our Tank, you won’t talk much, just try to look cool the whole time, and stand in the central area of the High School with your new gear on.
Progression
You start as a level one freshman in West Beverly Hills High School, and as you gain experience you gain levels 1-10 for each class. For example after reaching a level 10 freshman, you become a level 1 Sophomore. The top level being Level 1 College, (which we will raise the level cap in expansions). To level up you will do quests for NPC’s such as Dylan Mckay. Such awesome quests like “Help Dylan find his jacket”, where the player has to look for the famous leather jacket. *Spoiler Alert – It’s on the chair behind Dylan*
Dungeons
We will have several dungeons, one of our pride and joys is The High School Party. With such bosses as Puking Sad Girl, where she will puke for 200 damage, and if she crits and starts crying she may just wipe the party. Watch out for those falling Kegs. There are other dungeons too, such as the Gym Class Obstacle course; Oh man we are going to need a healer for that rope burn.
Gear
Tons of hot gear will be available, such as Leather Jackets of Douchebagness, or Can of Auqanet of Power, and the most Epic. Dago-T of Indifference. We will have mounts, guys have a choice of motorcycle, and women will have a choice of riding on the back of any motorcycle with a NPC. In our Collectors Edition you will receive a pet Snarf, that will annoy the heck out of by saying Snarf every 2 seconds.
PvP
Our PvP system will be called the Drama system, it’s not really combat per se, it’s really just of posturing, and raising your eyebrows a lot. If you’re a female you will be waving your head like your neck is broke, and pull your best move, “The Talk to the Hand Move” Deadly indeed. If you are a male you will fight back with your “Moody Pouter” move, in which you just walk away pouting like your in deep thought.
End Game Raiding
Our Raid Dungeon is Melrose Place, and that’s still in Development. I will let you in on a secret, Heather Locklear is one of the bosses, and she’s drunk in a bikini.
Take care and I hope to see you all in West Beverly Hills High!
First let me say that I chuckled through the entirety of this post. Very funny. Now, here’s my idea of a solid crafting addition to the game.
Crafting could cover pep rally’s and student council elections. Posters, banners, and other spirited signs would have to be designed and then hung in areas where their AoE radius would benefit the team/candidate.
A well placed “Go Team” banner could increase the home teams “spirit” stat, which actually has no bearing on the sport itself, and does nothing other than boost the ego of popular teens by allowing other angst filled losers to dote on them with such original phrases as “Go #19!” or “Win Team Win!” or “Jimmy is so HOT, and he’s also surprisingly good at every sport ever!” Okay, maybe not the last one.
A high enough “spirit” gives high level teens confidence in their actions and allows new class specific emotes such as “the thumbs up” for the Poser class or “the middle finger” for the Tough Guy Tool class.
We’ll put crafting in at the first content patch.
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Got some strange looks at work when I started chuckling to myself