King’s Quest: Syp in the land of clouds

(This is part of my journey playing through King’s Quest.  You can follow the entire series on the Nostalgia Lanes page.)

g1With my magic mirror in tow, I head back to the goat pen and hope that the hoary old beast doesn’t remember what I did to it in a previous life/save game.  I guess not, because he willingly starts to follow me when I show it a carrot.  Thatta boy!

g2As me and my new best friend who doesn’t hold a reincarnated grudge trot along, my fairy godmother shows up and puts a protective spell on me.  Oh hey, thanks!  Coulda used that back with the fire-breathing dragon, but you know, it’s all good!

g3A-ha!  A bridge!  I have a suspicion that a troll might be dwelling around here, so it’s a good thing that I brought along a little goat insurance.

What, you thought I was just being nice to the poor creature?  No, I’m definitely abusing our “friendship” to further my own power-hungry purposes.  What’s one goat, more or less, when a crown’s at stake?

g4“Crap!  It’s an MMO forum poster!”

g5Man, if only the real trolls were this easy to dispatch.  I’d invest in goat farms if that was the case.  Sigh.

g6Across the bridge I find a “crotchety old gnome” shuffling around, apparently abandoned by his family who went on to fame and fortune in Azeroth.

It’s actually Rumplestiltskin, and we all know how to deal with this particular legend: Bullets, and lots of them.  Or we could just say his name backwards.  Since I’m low on ammo, I’m going with option #2.

This got a bit tricky.  You can’t just reverse his name (at least not in the original version of King’s Quest); you have to use a backwards alphabet to come up with “ifnkovhgroghprm”.  That does the trick and Rumple disappears, granting me some magic beans.  Hey, is that even from the same fairy tale story?  C’mon!

So with some beans in hand, where can I go to plant them?  The farm doesn’t work… hm, how about this flower patch?

g7Bingo!  Big ol’ beanstalk ahoy.  Probably nothing but treasure and an obstacle-free land up there.  Get your climb on, Graham!

g8So hey, you know what is really easy to fall off of, apparently?  Beanstalks.  Beanstalks are easy to fall off of.  At least the flowers will be well-fertilized for the season.

g9First of all, I am not entirely sure this isn’t a subtle pot smoking joke.  Second, this part of the game suuuuuucks.  It’s not apparent at all where you need to be to be safe on the beanstalk, so I’m literally saving the game for every inch of progress that I make without breaking my neck.  I must have fallen about 30 times doing this.

g10After just too much time and mental curses aimed at 1983 video game designers, I arrive at the top of the beanstalk where the land of clouds awaits.  Nice, eh?

g11A couple of screens in and a giant squashes me.  Of course.  I love how he’s carrying around this shield that makes him invincible event though he’s a giant and the only thing I’ve managed to kill in this game is a completely defenseless goat.  Oh wait, that’s not the shield, it’s the chest.  It’s hard to tell, what with these graphics.  Still, I’m not changing this paragraph’s text because I never make mistakes.

So what to do?  Well, I still have that magic ring some stupid elf gave me.  Might as well put it on and see what awesome disease I will contract.  Hm.  Now I’m completely invisible, and I guess blind as well since light is passing through my retinas.  On the upside, after a while the game, er, giant just gives up and takes a nap, allowing me to steal the chest.

Hm, I wonder if…

g13You never let me have any fun, King’s Quest!

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One thought on “King’s Quest: Syp in the land of clouds

  1. How in the world did 1983 gamers figure out “ifnkovhgroghprm” before the internet? Sierra probably had a 900 number “tip line” where you could get the answer for 8 dollars a minute. I guess the internet killed off all those tip lines, but I remember how every game software company had one.

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