King’s Quest II: Batman!

(This is part of my journey playing through King’s Quest II: Romancing the Throne.  You can follow the entire series on the Nostalgia Lane page.)

d1Well magical door, apparently I very much want to open you, so I guess I’ll abide by your cryptic inscription and see what I can do about getting a key.

Or… or I can just bash you in with my bouquet of flowers!  Take THAT!   And THAT!  Submit to my relentless pummeling!

Fine.  Whatever.  Don’t care what’s inside of you.

d2Just for fun, here’s the native resolution of King’s Quest II compared to the resolution for Neverwinter on my laptop.  It’s so tiny!

d3I knew I didn’t dream up this little easter egg!  That right there is the 1960s Batmobile coming out of the witch (bat) cave.  It doesn’t kill me, but it is accompanied by the absolute worst rendition of the Batman theme that you’ve ever heard.  This game really needs to give up on music.

I wander around and beef up my inventory a bit, grabbing a clamshell, a bracelet, a trident, and a stake.  Man, fantasy people are litterbugs!

d4Ooh la la, it’s a mermaid!  Quick, sing a quirky song about how you like all of our trash that we dump in the sea and how you want to walk around on those, what do you call them, feet!

I give her my ace in the hole, the flowers.  Take these dinglehoppers and give me my just deserved reward!

d5Or a seahorse!  Sure!  That works too!

d6The seahorse takes me away from my sea bride and has me meet her father.  Well, I am fresh out of flowers and I just ate at Long John Silver’s for lunch.  Hm.  This might not go well.

d7OK.  So let’s just follow the logic of this door-key situation.  Someone made a magical door and put an inscription on it that the key is in the sea.  Then that someone swam down to Neptune and convinced him to hang onto the key until a stranger returned his conveniently lost trident to him.  Who is doing this?  This is what I want to know.  Who?

Whatever.  I run back across the creaky bridge and shove my key into the door as fast as a bunny.  What could be inside?  Is it my true love?  A sword?  The suspense is unbearable!

d8It’s another door.  I peed my pants for this?  Wow.  Of course, since the cover art of the game has doors within doors, I guess King’s Quest II already spoiled this.  Well, the impish door creator now wants me to go find a key somewhere high.

I swear, if it’s another beanstalk I’m going to ragequit all over the place.

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