Man, it’s sometimes the simplest things that amuse me.
So, DDO has this guy who does the Dungeon Master voice-overs, a cool feature that was implimented somewhat haphazardly. In some quests, he doesn’t ever talk, probably because he’s taking a bio break. In others, he’ll refrain from chatting until you’re deep into the quest and then suddenly his voice will boom from your headset — “YOU HEAR RATTLING CHAINS FROM THE NEXT ROOOOOOM!” — and you pee your pants. Then you get quests where the DM is apparently lonely and narrates every two seconds in huge, expository chunks.
Even better are the quests where the DM fills in for the voice of a main antagonist, which is sort of like getting used to Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption doing his calm voiceover and then suddenly trying to ape a Tim Robbins impression. There’s even a quest or two where he does a girly voice, which also makes me pee my pants, but for different reasons. I dearly love the DM guy (and many DDO players do as well — they’ve even created a thread devoted to some of his more hilarious moments).
Thus far, the greatest DM moment I’ve witnessed was last night, when a group of two guildies and I stormed through the outdoor adventure, Irestone Inlet. We’re tromping around killing hobgoblins or somesuch, with me muttering under my breath as to how frustrating it is trying to heal a Warforged (they only take half a normal heal), when we start to notice that the DM is talking more than usual. Like, he’s really lonely and we’re his best friends, so he feels as though he needs to be piping up every minute or two to spur us on.
What’s amusing is that the big baddie of Irestone is a hobgoblin pirate captain named Yaaryar. This is, undoubtably, the funnest name to say in the history of mankind, and the DM knows it. It suddenly becomes a self-made contest for him to see how many times he can utter “Yaaryar” when he talks, because it’s almost every other word. Yaaryar this and Yaaryar that. When he dies, the DM spews forth this great line:
“Yaryarr shouts ‘I will kill you, kill you all!’ as he falls, effectively calling his own bluff.”
And that’s not even the best part!
Oh no, the best is when you finish the quest by talking to a guy named Stained-Tusk (don’t ask), and the DM then breaks out into this bizarre Scottish pirate-talk.
I fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard.