Posted in Dungeons & Dragons Online, Kingdom of Loathing, Warhammer Online, World of Warcraft

The Five Most Notorious MMO Pirates

Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day!  To celebrate this spectacular holiday, I wanted to pay homage to the greatest pirates in MMOs (and if you’re yearning for more piratey goodness, then head over to Mutant Reviewers From Hell, where we’re posting a number of pirate movie reviews — not pirated, you understand).


1. Mr. Smite (WoW)

Oh, sure, World of Warcraft has a LOT of pirates, but Mr. Smite, the stun-locking Tauren buccaneer, stands above them all.  “We’re under attack! A vast, ye swabs! Repel the invaders!”  Plus, how awesome is that name?  “Mr. Smite”.  I’m naming my next kid that.


2. Yaaryar (DDO)

Yaaryar the hobgoblin pirate just can’t win — you kill his mates, blow up his ship, and cut him down in his prime.  And yet, his endearingly positive attitude steals our heart every time.

(DDO is also celebrating Talk Like A Pirate Day with a discount on their pirate adventure pack — Three-Barrel Cove — and a special pirate bandana available in the DDO store today only.)


3. Long Drong (WAR)

Pirates love their ale.  Dwarfs love their ale.  It makes perfect sense, then, that an enterprising dwarf would become a pirate, if only to steal all the other ale and chug it down.  And if that dwarf is a Slayer with an ironclad vessel?  So much the better!


4. Migratory Pirate (KoL)

Kingdom of Loathing loves Talk Like A Pirate Day so very much that it legally married it (in Utah, such things are possible).  A trio of nomad pirates were born, including the Migratory Pirate:

This be a pirate who was cursed to take up an oar and walk inland until some land-lubber asks him what he’s carrying. Unfortunately for him, the Kingdom be on a very small continent where people regular take vacations to the Shore, savvy, so it looks like he’ll be wandering for quite some time.

If ye be wondering why he doesn’t just say, “Avast, ye scurvy swab! Ask me what this be,” you’re not the only one.


5. Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Carribean Online)

Well, I guess it’s not a Talk Like A Pirate Day post-2003 if we don’t work in Cap’n Jack Sparrow in there somewhere, and I figure that the character is probably 99% of the draw for Disney’s MMORPG.  Just don’t take away his rum.

P.S. – Make sure to nab your FREE copy of Tales of Monkey Island today and today only!

4 thoughts on “The Five Most Notorious MMO Pirates

  1. Monkey Island free, eh? Thanks for the tip! (It’s only “chapter one”, whatever that means, but free is free.)

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