Posted in World of Warcraft

10 Examples of Extreme WoW Merchandising

With great subscribers comes great opportunity to cash in, and Blizzard has joined the Jim Davis School of Garfield Marketing in slapping its well-known World of Warcraft moniker on anything and everything that moves.  Here’s ten of their more bizarre attempts over the past half decade

wow-visa-card4

1. VISA Credit Cards

“The card the pays you to play!” the advertisement announces.  And why not run up a bit of credit card debt with this puppy, as it practically pays for itself!  You get one free month of game time when you get this card ($15 worth), and then accrue additional game time at the amount of 1% of your purchases.  Don’t worry, you’ll only have to spend around $1,500 to get a free month, and that’s practically nothing!  Of course, it is important to pay attention to the fine print

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2. FigurePrints

Are you so obsessed enamored with your WoW character that you need to take it to the next level, perhaps to show off your uber gear to your “offline” associates?  Turn ye, therefore, to FigurePrints, an outfit that scans your online character and uses a special 3D printer to build an approximate likeness for your desk and/or holy shrine.  Don’t let the $130 price tag throw you off, especially when you consider that you’ll want to get a new one when the next expansion releases and you get better gear!

wowbeer

3. Beer Steins

Because nothing says “14-year-old demographic” like hardcore beer drinking, Blizzard licensed Taverncraft to manufacture and sell WoW steins for $90 a pop.  Bottoms up, and don’t forget kids — liver disease and blood alcohol poisoning is just a myth, as we all know that the only drawback to excessive drinking is an intense screen blur and hiccups!

wowcoke

4. Chinese Coca-Cola

While marrying a soft drink to a pop culture medium is hardly new, the Chinese ads for WoW-themed Coke starring a music group called S.H.E. are practically begging for MST3K-style treatment.  I guess the message they wanted to convey is that if you dare to consume acid-flavored high fructose corn syrup while the WoW client is running, you can and will be robbed and then abducted by giant cows.

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5. Toyota

Hey, pop quiz!  What connection could vehicle manufacturer Toyota and World of Warcraft have in common?  After watching this commercial, all I can come up with is “the mutual ability to confuse and bewilder meek 33-year-old bloggers”.

wowtcg

6. Collectable Card Game

“Yo Syp!” you’re now saying, with your gangsta baggy pants and all, “You be whack, dawg!  How is a CCG ‘extreme merchandising’?”

Good point, homeslice.  I’d concede the point that the WoW CCG isn’t that extreme, considering that everyone these days has a CCG made of their IP.  But the WoW version had a bit of a twist — incredibly rare “loot cards” that rewarded buyers with in game items, like see-through sabertooth mounts.  Sure, it might take you upwards of $1,440 to either buy enough packs to get one (unless you want to take your chances on eBay), but that’s why you have such an engaging hobby!

wowtshirt

7. J!NX’s “Murlocos Tacos” T-Shirts

Not everything on this list is a joke, but this certainly is, even though it’s an awesome joke.  Out of all of J!NX’s considerable WoW-themed clothing, the Murlocos Tacos takes the cake.  And it’s up to you to buy me one for Christmas.  “Best Fish Tacos on Azeroth!” indeed.

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8. Official Night Elf Ears & Makeup

Great for Halloween or BlizzCon!” the ad proclaims on the Blizzard store, but we’re guessing that if you’re going so far as to purchase giant mutated ears so that you can dance on mailboxes to get attention, you’re going to be wearing these more than just a few days a year.  Try, non-stop.

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9. Epic Weapons’ Frostmourne

Nothing says “I trust you not to decapitate me in my sleep” than purchasing your significant other a limited edition $379 replica of WoW’s famous Frostmourne sword.  Seems pricey?  Some guy actually purchased the #1 edition of this sword for a mind-blowing $20,700 at an auction.

wowpod

10. The WoW Pod

Looking to enclose yourself into a cramped area?  Does it take too much work to hoof it over to the bathroom to do your business?  Need large amounts of sugar and caffeine near at hand for all-night raid benders?  Then you might want to invest in a WoW Pod, an orc-themed indoor hut that screams “I NEED AN INTERVENTION ALREADY!”  With a built-in toilet and no room for self-respect, this item instantly became the point in the WoW phenomenon where even die-hard fans winced and went, “Dude, let’s scale it back a tad.”

Right now, the WoW Pod is just an “art piece”, but who are they kidding — Wal-Mart should have these in stock by next Christmas.

15 thoughts on “10 Examples of Extreme WoW Merchandising

  1. Actually, the Figureprints don’t strike me as that extreme. Let’s face it: Most MMO players easily spend months (if not years) of their lives playing their game of choice almost every night. After the last server is shut down (for WoW: in 2023) and all the lights are off, the only memento of their character that a person might have is that figurine.

  2. The iPhone Armory App deserves to be on or near this list as well. Seriously, having everything about your characters right in your pocket is weird enough, but whipping it out at parties to show your e-peen just makes everyone resent inviting you.

  3. My wife made a hand sewn stuffed Murlock for me for X-mas about 4 years ago. She even went so far as to get one of those prerecording boxes that she put the Murlock attack yell on. So you could push the button inside the little Murlock and it would go.

    “loullouloullwwllallwll”

    It was one of my best X-mas presents ever. Unfortunately the battery in the box eventually died.

  4. I actually got one (OK I got 5 and gifted a few) of the J!NX Stuffed Murlocs with sound last year. My youngest LOVES his and mine still sits in his box on top of my dresser.

    Yes, I know I’m supposed to be a grown-up.

    Note: Tark and I stayed up past midnight one night when they went on sale to ensure we would get one. Or five, as we created several J!NX accounts that night (it was limit one.) See the sentence above this paragraph.

  5. I have to agree with Moxie. The Figureprints are pretty cool. If you put so much effort into something why not commemorate it? And it doesn’t always have to be equipped with the latest phat lewt. I was considering getting one for my Shaman not long before I quit WoW for good.

  6. @ Squirt
    I thought Blizzard already sold plushies like that. If not, I need to get me one of those.

    *pulls up his gangsta baggy pants and starts challenging people to a children’s card game*

  7. The figureprint is actually really cool… the price is obserd…. but the idea is awesome! Of course, if you’re taking it around and showing it off to every non-WoW player, it’s ridiculous also. It’d just be something neat to keep as decoration on your desk. Every other thing on this list is ridiculous. Why get a WoW credit card with 1% in game time, when you can get any other Visa credit card with 1% cash back or gift cards? Mine gives 1% back in Visa gift cards (once you reach certain limits of course).. great for putting regular monthly expenses on (food and rent will quickly rack that up)

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