Why Owning An Eagle In LOTRO Will Change My Life Forever

I did it.

Eschewing level 50 dungeon runs, I ran skirmish after skirmish for a good week or so until I had enough points to purchase my class quest items, which resulted in me finally getting my Eagle-friend trait.  I guess the Eagles gotta know if you’re really in it for the long haul or not.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, I splurged on a Tundra Eagle skin in the LOTRO store so that I could have an all-white Eagle that I named Frostbite.  Suffice to say, he looks like he means business.

As a pet class operator, getting a new beastie like this is a real highlight, and the last I’ll be seeing unless (a) I want to spec into the Bog-lurker or (b) Turbine adds another one with an upcoming expansion.  But I’m okay with the Eagle right now, particularly because I know it’ll change my life in four significant ways:

1. I’m prime for a power trip!

I think it’s cute and all when people lug their little pets with them around town, as if they simply couldn’t be parted from their ferret or little rat dog for more than ten minutes.  But what can that animal actually do to help their daily causes?  Nothing, I tell you!

As for me, I’m going to be strolling down the road with a fully-armed Eagle perching on my shoulder, ready to pluck out eyes and shred faces if I give the word.  All will tremble before me and give me the respect I deserve, or a screeching feathered nightmare will be the last thing they ever see!

Plus, I’m guessing it’ll make getting loans at the bank easier:

“Mr. Syp, I don’t think your credit limit is sufficient to cover–”

“SCREEEEE!”

“–Congratulations, here’s a million dollars!  On the house!”

2. Free air travel without cavity checks by the TSA

You hear that, guy who felt me up when I was going to Boston last month?  Now I don’t need to be ritually humiliated to participate in air travel?  I can just hop on my Eagle and go anywhere I like, first class!  No boring safety checks either, just grab on to a fistful of feathers and kick that bird into gear!

3. I’m bringing the USA to Middle-earth!

There’s nothing more patriotic that a bird who likes to eat mice and fish, darn it, and I’m all about loving my country with avian symbology!  Middle-earth needs a bit of Americanization anyway — did you know that Bree doesn’t even have ONE Wal-Mart?  Or a Starbucks?

That changes today!  Now as I go through the world, people will eye the majestic bird at my side and feel their hearts pulled toward the notion of a republic instead of oppressive monarchies!

U-S-A!  U-S-A!

4. Fish

If you haven’t heard, fish are high in Omega-3 fatty acids, which are really good for your heart.  They’re also high in mercury, which is really bad for everything else in your body, but that’s the trade-off.  My Eagle is a non-stop seafood buffet, and all I have to do is hold out my hands to receive a fresh, flopping happy meal delivered.  Thanks, Eagle!

3 thoughts on “Why Owning An Eagle In LOTRO Will Change My Life Forever

  1. Capnhoppy March 28, 2011 / 10:11 am

    Eaaaaaaggglleeeee!!!!!

  2. Kierbuu March 28, 2011 / 4:47 pm

    Took me a few embarrassing minutes to get the Scrubs reference.

  3. kaozz March 30, 2011 / 8:49 pm

    Gratz on the eagle 🙂

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