I swear, I think NCsoft created this latest Lineage II promotion solely to be the most mock-worthy event in the universe. And now I’m going to give it more press, because I simply can’t not mock it. It begs for it, it does.
Ladies and gentlemen…
Where… where do I begin. I have so, so many questions. Such as, is underwear in Lineage II a major feature in the game? Has no one in this universe ever heard of boxers or sports bras? How does underwear “reveal your true power” unless “power” is some weird slang for seductiveness? Why include a (cropped) picture of a kid on here AT ALL? Does that guy have an eight-pack? Why are these people standing around in their undies as a group? What does that conversation sound like? If you have camo underwear, how does that help you hide? How does this all help the MMO industry not look like it’s solely catering to extremely randy and immature perverts?
Seriously, that kid’s head and presence is freaking me out.
From the desciption: “Lineage II presents the secret to firming up your defenses, giving you the speed boost you need, and enhancing your attributes! Choose from one of five unique and sexy styles of Adenian Underwear—then augment your choice with Adenian Underwear Life Stones!”
OK, more questions. Who do we pummel for the horrible puns in this sentence? How does underwear enhance “attributes” unless we’re not talking about stats? “Augment your choice with stones”? Are you insulting your character’s avatars by saying that they obviously need to compensate for something?
“The chance of acquiring a special skill when augmenting your underwear is three times greater than normal augmenting.”
Well, OBVIOUSLY this is the case.