The Secret World: Orochi Daily Checklist

  • Be eviscerated by a werewolf
  • Be eviscerated by a werewolf and then turn into a werewolf
  • Be eaten by a Draug
  • Be stabbed in the head by zombie miner
  • Be turned inside-out by abused psychic children and then have corpse covered with dolls (remember to pre-purchase dolls)
  • Tamper in God’s domain and then reap the awesome benefits of mad science
  • Become infected by the Filth and discover it’s not covered by your HMO
  • Drive a sinister van to a random location and then die
  • Set up a tent and then die
  • Set up a listening facility and then die
  • Ask Dragan about the teddy bear thing
  • Laugh uncomfortably when you hear your boss refer to you as a “red shirt”
  • Stop laughing entirely when you realize said boss was a former Starfleet security officer on board a doomed ship
  • Look fabulous with new grey/white outfits
  • Realize that you just cannot get blood out of white clothing
  • Have morbid discussions with coworkers about how you will arrange your body before you die
  • Be consumed by C’thulu wannabe and then spit out with mind permanently scrambled
  • Steal office supplies

6 thoughts on “The Secret World: Orochi Daily Checklist

  1. rowan September 4, 2013 / 12:38 pm

    LOL When did they steal office supplies?

  2. Tyler F.M. Edwards September 4, 2013 / 12:43 pm

    What do you call an Orochi performance review?

    An obituary.

  3. NapalmInferno September 4, 2013 / 5:29 pm

    Why did the Orochi Agent cross the road?

    The chicken was draging his corpse.

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