The Secret World: No, that rampaging 100-foot golden golem will certainly not be on the evening news

I know I’ve touched on this before, but it’s kind of comical how all of the factions in The Secret World all pretend that they’re the ones “in the know” while the rest of the world consists of clueless sheep, but really?  I think the factions are the ones deluding themselves.  You really don’t think someone’s taking pictures with their cell of C’thulu eating New York or a giant metal golem stomping all over Egypt?

Anyway, TSW was big on the mind this past weekend as the whole Gilded Rage event whipped up.  Tack on a double AP weekend bonus, and it drew players to these golden monsters like nerds to a reddit thread.  As with the anniversary event, there were the same pros and cons:


  • Really decent XP for a straight-forward activity
  • Simplistic fight elements
  • Fun rewards (for the most part)
  • Community banding together to inform each other how to do the event and where the golems are
  • Seeing a thousand “engagement” puns in the chat channel


  • Oh em gee the laaaaaaggggggg
  • Also, it was (dare I say it?) kind of boring

I did several of these fights on Saturday and Monday evening, netting me some black bullion, a golden necktie, a new pet, and a couple hundred AP.  But even though these events get people together, they’re not ultimately successful in providing an experience on par with what TSW does best.  It’s a mindless fight in which you can easily just jam on a key and watch a movie or read a book.  I read two books.  They were good books.  It made me a little sad that I wasn’t going through as good of a story in TSW.

And I’m still a little fuzzy on why these golems — the security defense response of Argartha — are the bad guys.  Aren’t they trying to defend Argartha from being invaded by the filth?  I mean, I walk around Argartha these days and I feel quite uneasy seeing portals covered in that Venom black ichor and witnessing flying dragon-things swooping around.  We should be fighting that, please and thank you very much.

Anyway, I think I’m done with Guilded Rage and will be continuing my quest to re-run Transylvania for AP and signets.  Issue #8 really needs to get here fast.


7 thoughts on “The Secret World: No, that rampaging 100-foot golden golem will certainly not be on the evening news

  1. Tyler F.M. Edwards September 10, 2013 / 11:55 am

    I actually had a thought regarding why the golems are bad guys the other day.

    Agartha is a machine. The bees tell us this. The bees also tell us that the builders of Agartha have mysteriously vanished just as they’re most needed. So Agartha is programmed to release these all-powerful killbots in the event of Filth invasion, but there’s no one running them. They’re just going around breaking everything for lack of instruction.

    Anyway, I agree the event is a bit mindless, and I wish they had varied mechanics like the anniversary event, but it certainly beats chasing my tail until issue #8. Also, GLORIOUS LOOT.

  2. Sylow September 10, 2013 / 12:24 pm

    While most of the criticism of this blogpost is true, it also has to be seen like this:

    – The community picked up the first golem event with great enthusiasm.
    – The previous golem event had exactly one issue: one pet, the one from fusang, was almost impossible to get due to technical issues.
    – Funcom promised to give players a second chance at that golem in a second event.
    – Now this is the promised second event. Another kind of golem, the chance to get not only the missing pet, but also acquire some other stuff for your wardrobe.

    Would TSW have done nothing at the moment, but “simply” progressed further to Issue #8, everything would be fine and dandy, so a new iteration of the previous golem event should not be a problem, especially as the first time the event was well received.

    I personally kill like 3 or 4 golems an evening, that’s not too stressful, got me a bowtie, golden glowing eyes and a pet by now, and have fun, while next to that pursuing my “daily in-game business”. Hunting them full time would frustrate me, but one or another golem an evening is all fine. (Also, doing “normal” stuff made me stop several golems which others have not found yet. It’s fun how much meet-up spam i got after reporting them. The last meet-up requests come in 10 or 15 minutes after the golem is killed already. 😀 )

  3. rowan September 10, 2013 / 1:03 pm

    Dang it I was going to write up virtually the same critique, and yours is funnier than mine ever could be. I will continue to do the event simply to get the Gold Shem and top hat (and the AP), but I agree it is not stellar game design.

  4. pkudude99 September 10, 2013 / 4:51 pm

    I’ve posted the same thought a couple of places as comments myself. Killing the things is kinda boring since it takes so friggin’ long.

    Fortunately I’ve only gotten flares once.

  5. Sylow September 12, 2013 / 7:00 am

    On the fight taking that long: it’s not FC who made the fight that long. It’s the players who do so.

    If you want to know why, just use ACT and trace a log of a fight. Sort by healing numbers and realize that the golem healed for several times its life during the fight. Check how the golem healed, realize that all the healing is done by it’s AoE effect, which you can avoid by either being close to the golem (so the melee dudes are never affected by it) or by moving out of range. Interestingly enough, the leeching AoE has exactly the range of long range weapons in game.

    If you use one of those, all you have to do is to take one step back when the effect triggers, wait for a few seconds, advance again. The healing you deny to the golem more than makes up for the damage loss in those few seconds. If you use shorter range, just get close enough to avoid the effect. I know i can do either. It’s the many people who out of lazyness do neither, who prolong the fight to several times it’s intended length. I somehow can’t blame FunCom for the lazyness of my fellow players, who in other fights know very well to avoid the AoE effects, but here decide not to bother for it.

  6. Ocho September 13, 2013 / 11:30 am

    The way I see it, the Golems are the White-blood cells of the world. Gaia is protecting itself by coming in with these giant monstrosities and knocking everything down in it’s path. However, we, the players, are also in it’s path. Like an auto-immune disorder, it considers the players and everyone else to be just as bad as the filth. So, to prevent our destruction, the golems need to be taken out, even if they’d help in eradicating the Filth, too.

    As for the Gilded Rage event, the reason why it’s so blah is that it’s a make-up for the Guardians of Gaia blunders… and so they kill two birds with one stone. Make up for GoG issues, and sell a $100 tuxedo at the same time. Blech.

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