Posted in Nostalgia Lane

Beyond Good & Evil: Jamaican Rhinos

(This is part of my journey playing through Beyond Good & Evil.  You can follow the entire series on the Nostalgia Lanes page.)

I’m having difficulties getting this series going because the game itself is giving me a lot of problems.  I can’t tab out or take screenshots (although I solved the latter with fraps), plus the game sometimes just locks up on me and stops accepting input.  I think I’ve got it ironed out, so full steam ahead!


Since my character apparently does not hold a steady job, I have to blindly take up any missions that come my way.  I get two: to fix our island’s hovercraft (which is important because, y’know, island) and to travel to the happy-sounding “Black Rock” where a Mr. De Castellac has an important mission for me.

Seriously, this game could not telegraph “THIS DUDE IS EVIL” more if they kept him hidden away in a black limo where a big-chested bodyguard with a villain moustache told me to head that way without any specifics as to the job.  Which is exactly what happened.


My AI computer program is happy that he figured out how to access the cable news channel. Good for him.


Here’s our hovercraft, which Pey’j can’t fix. I guess he’s like a semi-skilled auto mechanic, but we keep him around in case we get a hankering for some baconing.


In the game’s first “puzzle” — yes, this is supposed to be an adventure game, but it’s only lightly in that category — I push a power thingie so it charges up the hovercraft. Go me.


The hovercraft makes it about 200 feet out of the dock before breaking down completely. Again, I give this game credit for its looks: even the water looks pretty nice for 2003-era graphics. Considering I’m going nowhere, I might as well check out the ocean, eh?

The local garage comes to give me a tow.


So the garage is staffed by Jamaican rhinos, which is so perplexing that I physically felt something snap in my brain. OK, so we know that because of the backstory and setting that this game takes place in our future. So where do the animal-people come from? Genetic meddling? Alien races? And in either of those scenarios, why Jamaican? Is there something going on on that island that I don’t know about?


No sooner do we get our engine repaired than the DomZ attack again. This time they sent down a giant sea serpent, which I guess I have to blast because I’m the only full-time security force around here. The hovercraft does handle pretty well and, like the melee combat before, it’s pretty basic fighting stuff. Clicky clicky.


Boom, nice knowing you, Mr. Sea Serpent!


We make our way through the town and out the other side, where the Black Rock and Mr. De Castellac awaits. Well, this is bound to be cheery and end with my skull on his dashboard, so why not?

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