An occasional problem that I run into with LOTRO is that the game will spend way, way too long loading my character into the game… and eventually quit to desktop as a result. I’m finding even more problems with DDO. Not only do I get the same load problem, but when my character does pop into the world, everything’s frozen for a good minute or three before finally allowing me to move and interact. This time around I got both issues, which was followed by another one: I could turn and use my weapon, but moving in any direction? Not so much, no.
Generally, if I have to keep logging in and out of a game to try to get it to work, I start asking myself, “Is this really worth the hassle?” Hint: It almost never is.
Anyway, let’s get going with our adventure of the day! Can you believe that there’s a dungeon inside of this innocent hand cart?
The cart drops me off at a photogenic if eerily terrifying part of the forest and then leaves without so much as a how-do-you-do. I’m hearing a lot of “bear” talk on the loading screen, which bodes poorly for my 27% armored fleshy pre-carcass. Hey, let’s head into that terrifying cave!
So a lot of you have been begging me for my patented fighting strategy in DDO, and so I’ll relent and tell you just to get some peace and quiet. When I encounter a mob, I:
1. Click and hold down on the left mouse button.
2. Wait until monster dies.
3. Repeat with new monster.
If I really feel fancy, I’ll activate one of my long-cooldown special abilities, but I don’t feel fancy a lot. Sometimes fighting in DDO is so simple in contrast to its enormously complex stats.
Oh hey, there’s a bear, first name Dire. I stand in the middle of his stomach and whip him to death, which is a completely normal thing for a 38-year-old man to be doing on a Tuesday evening. Behind Dire Bear is the corrupted druid, who throws a lot of ice at me but dies nonetheless. In the middle of this fight I get a blind guild invite, which I accept if just to get that prompt off of my screen. HI NEW FRIENDS MEET MY DIRE BEAR.
I thought that he was the boss, but I guess he’s just the start — I need to kill a few more druids to unlock the chamber of the ultra-druid. Woe is me.
I head down the side passages to defeat the additional druid mini-bosses and the large corrupted seeds, because nature is in imbalance and only by thrashing it with a big stick can order be restored. Killing the seeds is a stupid move, as it removes all of the large roots that were blocking the bears from coming out to maul me.
After fighting my way through a cavern of bears and druids, I am shocked beyond belief that the final boss is a bear and a druid. As I’m fighting the bear, more bears surround me in a freaking country bear jamboree. That’s when I break out my 20-second whip maneuver that I learned at cheer camp.
This is DDO’s version of “Sorry, but your princess is in another castle.” I love how this druid is deliberately screwing with me even as she dies. “Be a whole zoo! That’s how you win the game! Also, smack yourself in the face with a pie!”
Thanks, druid. Now don’t mind me as I step over your corpse to retrieve my treasure. A bear will be by presently to gnaw on your bones.