(This is part of my journey playing through Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis. You can follow the entire series on the Nostalgia Lane page.)
Indiana Jones and the Vacation Thinly Disguised as an Archaeological “Expedition” returns, as Indy and Sophia fly from the Azores to the jungle of Mexico. Sophia has the right attitude here. In fact, I’m kind of wondering why any of this effort is really pressing. Indy doesn’t believe in Atlantis, and apart from Sophia’s suspicion that the Nazis want it for a power source, there’s no huge reason to run around the world to try to find it. Doesn’t he have classes to teach, anyway?
DR. JONES OFFICE HOURS: 8:00 to 10:00 a.m. in a malaria-infested hole
It’s hard to see here, but Indy is whipping a jungle rodent because why not. Actually, the second I did this I activated a decades-long buried memory, one of many that my brain has helpfully stored since I played this back in ’92. Whipping the jungle rodent. Not just a gross metaphor. Something to do with quest. Yes…
Ahh, now it’s coming back to me. So there’s a giant anaconda all curled around this tree, and Indy’s whip does nothing more than get it all riled up. Plus, Indy hates snakes, so wrassling it is not an option. But a rodent + snake = progress? Get whipping, boy!
I whip the rodent in the general direction of the snake, which lunges off of the tree, wraps itself around the doomed critter (causing its eyes to bulge out), and then the pair careen off of the cliff to their mutual deaths. As I stare at the screen horrified, Indy quips, “Good old Mother Nature!” Um… yeah.
Indy climbs the now vacant tree, which in typical adventure game logic, lowers to form a bridge and doesn’t fall short, causing him to die.
Of course, it was all for naught, as Sophia found a path and merely walked around to what appears to be a tourist trap? It has to be, otherwise why would you have a sales booth out in the middle of a rarely visited jungle? Gosh, I hope I can buy something.
Sternhart shows up and immediately tries to sell us tacky souvenirs. If there’s one thing that this game teaches us, it’s that anyone in the archaeology profession is either (1) a reckless adventurer, (2) a thief, (3) a crackpot, (4) a Nazi spy, or (5) a sleezy salesman. Or all of the above.
Anyway, Sternhart claims to have just translated the Lost Dialogue of Plato (it exists?) but a German dude with a pistol stole it. Kerner. He also says that the temple couldn’t have been built by Mayan “savages,” but instead Atlanteans who lived here after their city sank. Sternhart won’t let me explore the temple unless I tell him the real name of the Lost Dialogue, but all of my guesses come up short.
The answer is actually right out in the open — the squawking parrot, who has been yapping various words, definitely knows. Hey… why am I starting to feel like this game is teaching me things? School things?
Inside the temple is a secret compartment that we really need to get into, but it’s going to take some work. I have Sophia distract Sternhart with her feminine wiles (her total contribution to the team thus far), swipe the kerosene lamp and use the liquid to disolve some gunk so that I can extract a spiral. Then, the spiral is used to give a nearby animal head statue a nose, and…
A tomb of an Atlantean king opens up. Sternhart, weasel that he is, steals a disk called the worldstone and makes off with it. He does leave behind a single bead of orichalcum, however, which means that at least Sophia can do her magic show one last time.