SWTOR: Knights of the Fallen Empire’s most exciting new feature revealed


AUSTIN, TX — BioWare, creator of Star Wars: The Old Republic and industry innovator in capitalizing middle letters of studio names, announced to the world that it had one major feature up its sleeve for the upcoming Knights of the Fallen Empire expansion.

“We are proud to reveal that BioWare has been working on cutting-edge wound animation technology and will be implementing these exciting advancements with Knights of the Fallen Empire,” Studio Creative Director James Ohlen said.

The new tech will allow studio animators to add an additional pose for wounded NPCs and heroes, bringing the count up to two. Ohlen revealed that not only will characters whose legs are shattered, bellies shot up, and heads caved in by lightsabers instinctively clutch at their left-hand side — but now be able to grab their right-hand side as well.

“Truly what a glorious age we live in,” he said. “This will allow our storytelling team greater flexibility for those inevitable moments where players’ psychopathic characters callously inflict grave injuries on bystanders and office drones in the name of building up ‘dark side points.’

Players are invited to try out the new injury animation on the test server by attacking a clone of Corso Riggs.


6 thoughts on “SWTOR: Knights of the Fallen Empire’s most exciting new feature revealed

  1. Geldarion August 21, 2015 / 11:23 am

    I’m laughing so hard that my left side hurts, so I’m clutching it.

  2. jameshateswordpress August 21, 2015 / 12:22 pm

    Is today April 1st?

  3. wolfyseyes August 21, 2015 / 1:29 pm

    Holy hell this had me dying laughing. My husband, super-fan of the game…less so.

    Which, of course, made it funnier.

  4. Shintar August 21, 2015 / 2:05 pm

    Comment by someone who thinks this is real incoming in 3, 2, 1…

  5. Shandren August 21, 2015 / 6:31 pm

    That makes no sense whatsoever… Why would your side hurt from being hit in the head with a lightsaber? Worst major feature ever… Biowear is stupidz

    Shandren out 😉

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