Good morning class! Are we ready for another exciting Star Wars: The Old Republic picture book? Now sit down, criss-cross-applesauce, and raise your hand if you have to go to the bathroom. Nobody? Good.
Children, this is the face of the grim specter of death. Look at it. Look at that grimace set in the face of the man you just killed. Marvel at how rigor mortis has enabled his corpse to balance precariously on that metal protruberance.
When developers get lazy, they borrow liberally from other scifi properties. Here, Doctor Who’s sonic screwdriver is repurposed as some sort of cannon.
Just a reminder that Halloween is coming up soon, boys and girls!
Now children, what do you want to be when you grow up? How about a soldier on a spaceship that gets magic-choked to death by his superior for something that’s not your fault?
None of us will be sleeping tonight, Mako. None of us.
Think this school is dull, kids? It’s nothing compared to Jedi school, where you’ll spend 50% of your time recovering from lightsaber burns and 50% of your time “meditating” while Darth Vader and the Sith rise to power all around you.
Don’t listen to the stuffy Jedi master, children! Cultivate that arrogance and sarcastic snipping. It’s the only way you’ll get ahead in business and the military complex structure.