(Join Syp as he attempts to document a complete playthrough of The Secret World from start to finish. What will The Secret Adventures discover next? Find out in this exciting installment! WARNING: Spoilers and stories ahead!)
Funeral Crasher (investigation mission)
- OK, how great is that title? I love me a good quest title.
- So our third and final mission at the Franklin Manor is an investigation one. Eleanor is a little concerned for the ghosts, as they (and the cats) have been spooked since a recent storm. Time to dig out the Ouija board to talk to (pause for dramatic effect) THE OTHER SIIIIIIDE.
- The board spits out a bunch of letters and numbers that point to an Orochi van down the road. Orochi. Never going to end well with these folks. Wonder how many corpses I’ll stumble over today?
- The van mentions that Orochi was somehow trying to test the Filth on the spirits. Because THAT’S a good idea that shouldn’t have gotten laughed out of the room. Dude, the Orochi deserve every corpse they get. Idiots.
- Then the ghosts get even cleverer by using the van’s headlights to blink morse code at me. Oh yes, this mission is a little famous for the morse code bit. Don’t ghosts know how to text?
- So doing a little deduction and decrypting, the code mentions a lady’s path, and next to the mansion is a path with a girl’s name. The tricky part here — and what hung me up the first time through — is that you have to be dead to progress to the next part (since you’re dealing with spirits and all). TSW loves to create excuses for you to kill yourself.
- From there it’s a relatively easy task to head over to the Franklin Manor’s masuleum and banish the angry spirit.
- Instead of jumping back into my body, I explore around a bit as a ghost. Never did that before, and boy, Franklin Manor is the place that you want to visit as a spectral tourist. You can find all of the ghosts of the people killed, from the kid hobbling around in the yard to the servant locked in the cellar to the hippie near the graves. Can’t believe this was my first time noticing all of this.
Detritus Prime (side mission)
- This side mission, near to the Franklin Manor, looks to involve completing a gadget that will allow the user to control those filth golems. Man, wouldn’t that be handy for the rest of the game?
- Instantly I am attacked by one of the filth-controlled people. Instead of fighting back, I just listened to her rambling for a while because I haven’t fully done that before. She keeps apologizing for attacking me while going off on the price of milk and eggs. “I’m so sorrEEEEE” It’s still dang eerie.
- After gathering a couple of parts, I turn on the remote and gain access to my very own golem — Detritus Prime. Honestly, it’s not as cool as you might hope. For one thing, you don’t control him so much as follow him through the swamp and keep him from getting killed. So… an escort mission.
- And what do you get for all of this? The golem ends up going haywire and you have to kill it anyway. Well, that was a bust.
Breaking News (side mission)
- See, it’s not that I go out of my way to pick on the Orochi for being dead, it’s just that you can’t go 20 feet in The Secret World without tripping over another one of their corpses. I still feel that Funcom unintentionally made them out to be such a joke that even the visit to their HQ in Tokyo wasn’t enough to restore their status as a serious player.
- So, another corpse, this one in the middle of the road. Apparently the Orochi were trying to chase down a news van because of some sort of media breach. Gee, what could the news be reporting on in this small quiet island?
- The goal of the mission is to retrieve datacard chips from three of the news crew’s bodies. One’s been eaten by a wendigo, one’s in the middle of Ak’ab territory, and one’s become corrupted by the filth. Feel really bad for the news crew, I do.
- Turns out that the Buzzing had something to do with the “media breach.” On the one undamaged card it reads, “The Buzzing appreciates all you do. The world is dying, it’s true!”
Maine Chainsaw Massacre (side mission)
- Everyone has to do this mission at least once because it is such a joy. Basically, you find a chainsawed zombie on a truck and think, “Why not?”
- From there you run around with a chainsaw one-shotting zombies left and right. It’s a thing of beauty, that chainsaw — and it’s a crying shame that the auxiliary weapon you get later on isn’t as powerful.
- COME GET SOME.
Up in Flames (side mission)
- Another nearby side mission that’s really easy to check off the list. This one has you investigating a burning tunnel, which is the game’s way of explaining why it’s not letting you do a full loop around Solomon Island back to the start.
- The fun thing here is that you get to find, equip, and keep a full CDC hazmat suit, which is one of my most favorite costumes in the game. Even better, it comes in handy for missions that require a gas mask of some kind!