The Secret Adventures: Golems for us, golems against us (Scorched Desert #6)

(Join Syp as he attempts to document a complete playthrough of The Secret World from start to finish. What will The Secret Adventures discover next? Find out in this exciting installment! WARNING: Spoilers and stories ahead!)

From Oxford, With Love (action mission)

  • We start with more evesdropping on Mr. Beardy and Mr. Hatty, the latter of whom is threatening the former for not digging up enough artifacts around the area. Beardy is tasked with sending more soldiers to a dig site manned by Oxford archaeologists to the north. Will that happen on my watch? No. No it will not happen.
  • Along the way I bump into a golem that’s being attacked by Atenists. The mission charges me to help said golem, although it does not provide a reason why. Is this… a good guy golem? Is it just the enemy of my enemy is my friend kind of thing?
  • Then there’s one of TSW’s rare mid-mission cutscenes as I come across the archaeologists’ camp. It’s been trashed and robbed, although the May-November gay couple are seemingly OK. They do want me to retrieve the stolen artifacts though. Probably won’t even pay me, either.
  • The first artifact is being guarded by ghouls who, after dispatching the Atenist (yay), are now bowing in worship before it. It’s kind of funny. They still had to die, of course, but at least I got a chuckle out of it.
  • The third artifact is super-tricky to get. It requires you to down a giant golem — wait, now I’m supposed to fight it? This mission makes no sense — and he’s got a trio of really strong buffs that make attacking him a suicidal proposition.
  • The mission wants you to use these tower beams to deactivate the buffs, but it’s a lot of running around and very precise timing. What I elected to do was to use the beams just to deactivate the one buff that protected him from damage — with that out of the way, I was able to DPS him down fast.
  • Finally, I ran off to deliver the artifacts to an Illuminati helicopter (sorry Oxford dudes, you’re not getting these back). Neat way to end the mission.


Tomb Raiders (side mission)

  • No Lara Croft here — it’s up to me to seal up a bunch of tombs to keep the undead from spilling out. Or maybe we could recruit them into the Illuminati? That’d be pretty awesome.
  • I like these mummy undead, really great models going on here. Mmm… teriyaki beef jerky style.

Ruined (side mission)

  • There are a few side missions up in the north-east corner of the map where I ended up, so figured I might as well clean them out.
  • We’ll start with a cultist who, I think, immolated herself. That’s… disturbing, but par for the course in this region. Have to go kill a few bad guys!
  • This wouldn’t be that hard except for the fact that any time I get near a group of cultists, a giant sand scorpion pops up. It’s all too much to tackle at once, so I had to run in and out, keeping AoE at a minimum

Modern Archaeology (side mission)

  • When I saw that I had to locate and dig up an artifact, I felt my stomach sink — this was going to be another BEEP BEEP BEEP mission. But actually it wasn’t! Instead, I got a device that, when planted, points me in the direction of the artifact. Wasn’t that hard to find at all.


Not on Google Maps (side mission)

  • Keeping track of the easiest missions in this game? Here’s one for you: You literally have to walk through a door and a loading screen, and bam, mission complete.
  • It’s just a little breadcrumb quest to take you to the next zone, as if the giant C’thulu temple up there wasn’t inviting enough.


The Bomb Squad (side mission)

  • Slowly but surely, I’m working my way into al-Merayah and it’s grouping of quest givers. Before I get too far in, I find a bomb brazenly strapped to the side of a poor, innocent building. The nerve! Time to go bomb hunting!
  • This is actually way easier than it should be, even though you have to find and disarm 10 bombs in the city. For one thing, these bombs are everywhere; the bad guys apparently love overkill. For another thing, they all glow bright yellow and have labeling text, which is probably an advantage that most bomb technicians don’t get.

3 thoughts on “The Secret Adventures: Golems for us, golems against us (Scorched Desert #6)

  1. bhagpuss March 11, 2016 / 10:49 am

    I’d forgotten the Oxford archaeologists. I thought they were one of the highlights of Egypt, right up there with Said and Nassir. I wish there’d been more from them.

  2. Sylow March 11, 2016 / 1:05 pm

    They have their special time every year around Christmas. Too bad that they always are in a rough phase of their relationship at that time, but I hear that’s not so uncommon around Christmas. 😀

  3. Tyler F.M. Edwards March 11, 2016 / 3:09 pm

    I still want a Valentine’s event where we help them make up.

    Maybe Ricky and Kaoru, too.

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