King’s Quest IV part 2: Kissing frogs

(This is part of my journey going checking out King’s Quest IV. You can follow the entire series on the Retro Gaming page.)

As with the other King’s Quest games, the meta goal isn’t just to finish the game, but to achieve as high a score as possible by collecting items and performing certain actions. KQ4 is very keen on this, with 230 points total (I have a whopping 10). Every time you trigger an event or get an item that has points attached, a chirpy little tune plays to inform you of the fact. Hey! I found a ball under a bridge! That’s worth points, darn it!

cr

She is WAY too excited about finding the prince of frogs. Guess she’s starved for kisses? Let’s get smooching already!

kiss

That may be the most hilariously disturbing paragraph written for these games yet, and I’m including the brother ogling the sister in the previous one. “Mmmm. Good.” Yeah, you BETTER feel silly doing this, especially if you get some sort of lip fungus. Oh well, it’s just a normal handsome prince.

The prince gives me guff — oh, I’m sorry, I need to modernize my lingo — he throws shade on the fact that I look like a peasant and am not the princess he so deserves. Irony! Also, dude, I rescued you when I could have had frog legs for dinner. Where is the option to shove him back into the pond?

fly

More aimless exploring ends me up at the foot of a mountain pass. The second I try to navigate up this hellish developer maze, two flying monkeys… er, vampires? I guess? Come to whisk me away to the castle. Hey, it beats walking!

cell

It’s here in the castle that I meet Lolotte, the evil fairy that’s certainly not the Wizard of Oz’s Wicked Witch of the West. Even though she has green skin. And lives in a castle in the mountains. And commands flying servants.

She gets irked with my presence and pronounces me a spy, then tosses me into a nasty cell. Scary! I don’t even have a moment to start thinking about how I’m going to try to get out when the minions come back to get me…

blush

Because her son, Edgar, has a crush on me. Yeah, this fairy has a son and I’m not going to think about that too much. Anyway, Lolotte lets me go if I agree to capture her a unicorn. Why not? I’m no unicorn lover, no sirree. They’re on the list of “Syp’s most despised fantasy creatures,” right below dragons and above politicians.

A funny little note: Whenever you go to quit this game, the “Are you sure you want to quit?” prompt also contains a picture of Roberta Williams, as if she’s trying to personally convince you to stay. That’s… strange.

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