The Secret Adventures: Order’s up at Café Giza (Scorched Desert #7)


(Join Syp as he attempts to document a complete playthrough of The Secret World from start to finish. What will The Secret Adventures discover next? Find out in this exciting installment! WARNING: Spoilers and stories ahead!)

Friends and Neighbors (side mission)

  • Let’s take a quick break to talk about what I’m working toward in my build. One of my all-time favorite elite passives is Forged in Fire (auto heal 40% of health if you dip below a threshold), so I’m working my way toward that. I should probably devote some AP toward an auxiliary weapon, since I can’t use the two I have as I haven’t bought skills yet. And I’m really flirting with trying to construct a fists/shotgun-ish build, but that will take a LOT of AP and SP to switch over. Shotgun something, at least. I miss my shotgun dearly. Pistols are a poor substitute.
  • Anyway, we’re back in al-Merayah, where this side mission asks me to go on a witch hunt to root out cultists in the city. Gladly!
  • Nothing too hard here, just a lot of wandering around town and wondering who designed this ramshackle place.

Old Gods, New Tricks (action mission)

  • Time to turn my attention to clearing out the Cafe Giza. There are a TON of missions here between the two quest givers and one random side mission. Going to start with Tanis’ stuff.
  • Tanis is a Phoenician agent with a penchant for snakes. I hear her talking urgently over the phone, but she sees me listening and gives me this glare to make me back off. Shortest intro cutscene ever? Maybe. I leave the restaurant and get a call from a mysterious man who instructs me to evesdrop on her some more.
  • Tanis is getting chewed out for having lost artifacts (always with the artifacts in Egypt), so that means it’s a race for me to get them from the cultists first. And that means… more cursed beeping. This game has made me hate GPSes so very much.
  • The artifacts are spread around the outskirts, so it’s a little tricky to search while not drawing down a mob of mobs. To make matters even tricksier, the artifacts throw out this sort of repelling ray if you approach them from certain angles.
  • At the end, there are two time-limited mission objectives, which leads to a little nail-biting. Wasn’t that hard, although some carelessness did lead to a couple of deaths on my part.
  • Geary tells me that one of these artifacts was responsible for the Black Plague. Were you going to tell me this beforehand? I do have a biohazard suit, you know!


An Uneasy Alliance (action mission)

  • After the previous mission, Tanis is a little more willing to talk with me. She says we’re still enemies and that some day she’ll blow my brains out (charming), but for now we can work together against the cultists. Step one in doing so is to go snake hunting for her pets. Hope you don’t have a phobia!
  • Never thought I’d be doing a snake escort quest in an MMO, but here we are. It is not even close to the strangest thing you’ll do in this game, by the way.
  • The snake leads me to a bitten cultist, who then spawns black energy wisps (?). Don’t have a CLUE what that’s supposed to be about, but they all lead me to the cultist camp, and from there it’s a full-frontal assault on the place. Nothing too hard, happily. I’m really glad I’m keeping a strong AOE builder on my toolbar for times like this.


From Carthage to Cairo (sabotage mission)

  • Before any further discussion can open up between Tanis and I, a bomb goes off across the street from the cafe. It’s an effective cutscene, devoid of dialogue and slightly shocking, with my character looking up at the bombed roof with worry.
  • A little investigation into the bomb site leads me to an alley, where the mission intro proper kicks in. I evesdrop on Tanis meeting with… Said, who is not too happy with the Phoenecians getting involved with the death cults. Said said that the Kingdom is getting out of the deal, in his humorous way. He walks away and Mr. Hatty shows up, beckoning Tanis to talk about her “bright and shining future.” Oh yes, he’s so Morninglight it hurts.
  • This is not one of the breezy missions, if the “sabotage” label didn’t warn you. It’s one of those missions that you feel wrung out after doing, since it has you going through a booby-trapped cellar, navigating the super-dangerous date plant area, and then defending a guy against waves and waves of bad guys.
  • At least the end part gives you claymore mines and detonators as a key part of the defense, but if you mess up just a little, you’ll be overrun before the detonators respawn. Took me about four tries this time to do it right.
  • At least Said is happy that I tracked down his operatives (two dead, one alive) and texted me that he wanted to do lunch. My favorite mummy!

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