King’s Quest V Part 2: K.O. by bear

pie

(This is part of my journey going checking out King’s Quest V. You can follow the entire series on the Retro Gaming page.)

With a pocket full of dead fish and a song in my heart, I head out of the town to see what else there might be in this so-far-pleasant kingdom. Hey, other than the snake, nothing’s tried to kill me yet — and that makes me deeply suspicious, since I’m in a King’s Quest game.

You know what doesn’t get old? Cedric telling me that he’s going to wait wherever when I go in a building. Again, owl, I didn’t ask you to come, I don’t want you here, and the second this game lets me loot something more deadly than a deceased carp, you better watch out.

pie2

I like how the game does these picture-like insets when you go into a building. This way we get to look at Cedric all the time!

Graham, ever thinking about his stomach and not his rule, buys a pie. PIE.

bear

A little ways down the road is a bear messing around with a beehive. Cedric pipes up to say, “OOOH WATCH OUT FOR THE BEEEEAR!” as if I’m not aware that they’re nature’s murder machines. You know what? New rule for this playthrough. Any time that Cedric warns me about something, I’m doing it. I’m going to walk right up to this bear and…

…get punched out by it like it was a boxer? Huh. That’s… not the way I thought I’d die in this situation.

bear2

Bear, meet dead fish. That gets rid of the bear problem, although how cool would it have been if you could’ve chosen the bear companion instead of the owl? “Bear, this shopkeeper won’t let me pass.” “RAWR *sounds of mauling*” “Thank you!”

Once the bear is gone, the queen bee emerges to thank me and offer some honey. This is downright surreal: She’s a person with antennae and a honey drizzle stick, but I guess a bee too? And her voice acting… how do I describe it. A forced Southern drawl modulated to a high pitch. I’m seriously starting to think that about three people total did all of the voice acting in this game.

ants

About the exact same scenario happens one screen north, as long as you substitute “dog” for “bear,” “ants” for “bees,” and “stick” for “dead fish.” King (sigh) ANTony thanks me for getting rid of the dog and promises to help me. Sometime. In the future.

As Graham starts to head west, Cedric warns him that this is a huge, dry desert and that the owl won’t go in there. Well, we know what our new rule is, right? To the desert we go!

deserttt

Anyone remember the confusing and seemingly endless desert from the original Legend of Zelda? If so, you’d be at home here, since this desert is full of confusing, bland screens. And if you don’t find an oasis, you’ll die of thirst.

Graham finds a temple frequented by some bandits, who use the clever phrase “open sesame!” to get in.

bandits

Graham tracks the bandits down to their camp, where the gang is having one roaring party (if you can assume that from the dancing, frantic music, passed out drunk, and amused beasts of burden). He stealths into a tent, steals a staff necessary to open the temple, and whistles his way back into the desert.

tiddly

Back up to the temple — remembering to drink along the way or else die of thirst — Graham uses the staff to gain access. Then the staff breaks, because adventure game devs hate you. Inside, it turns out that he has mere seconds (seriously) to grab two items and leave or else he gets stuck inside FOREVER. What, I can’t even look for another way out?

genie

The brass bottle that Graham liberates contains a genie. Sweet! Three wishes, here I…

…oh wait, this is a Sierra game, isn’t it? Well, now I’m trapped inside of a bottle for thousands of years as a punishment for my natural curiosity.

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