King’s Quest V part 5: Hanging with my gnomies


(This is part of my journey going checking out King’s Quest V. You can follow the entire series on the Retro Gaming page.)

Ever wonder what Gnomes did before MMORPGs came along and they were all enlisted into the war effort against dragons? According to King’s Quest V, they sat around small huts and played with dolls. Makes you feel bad for ganking them in PvP now, doesn’t it?

Graham returns the spinning wheel he found in the witch’s house to the older gnome, who then reveals that this contraption turns straw into gold. WAY TO GO GRAHAM. Could’ve started your own kingdom with that right there. Graham, ever the shrewd bargainer, demands the kid’s puppet toy in exchange for this delivery of unlimited wealth. This done, the gnomes leave and presumably the younger one learns a harsh lesson about how adults like to take your toys away to use in “adventures.”


Continuing with this theme of not actually solving puzzles but merely returning people’s property to them, Graham unloads the golden needle — and demands a fancy cloak in return. I’m not entirely sure if the shopkeeper is supposed to be a guy or girl, since the voice is done high-pitched by a guy.

And… um… what is that in the store?



Thank you, Sierra, for getting the crotch bulge right.

Graham continues his generous bartering spree by exchanging the puppet for a sled, and the shoes for a hammer. At this point I think he’s either jerking me around or getting ready to open a pawn shop. At least giving the old couple the dead guy’s shoes lets them retire in peace, which is Graham’s good deed of the day.


Having had a very long day, Graham heads to an inn where, as you might expect, the innkeeper and his henchman clubs Graham unconscious and ties him up in the cellar. For some reason. Hey, it’s not the kind of service model that I would promote, but maybe there’s some sort of hidden logic in this.

Anyway, the talking rat that Graham saved earlier comes out, chews on the ropes, and lets him free. Graham sneaks out of the inn, but not before robbing the kitchen of a juicy leg of lamb. Kids, it’s OK to steal if you’ve been abducted against your will!


One thought on “King’s Quest V part 5: Hanging with my gnomies

  1. Shintar May 21, 2016 / 11:16 am

    I’m used to adventure game logic being a bit convoluted, but this sounds like it’s taking it to a whole new level.

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