The Secret World: Three terrible wishes


While chasing down the secret of the omnipresent earth tremors by looking into how the Atenists are binding the Jinn, I get to make three wishes. Of course, this being The Secret World and all, those wishes almost immediately backfire.

My first wish is to be popular. The game rewards this wish by mobbing me with Aten cultists clamoring for my autograph, by which I mean “hitting me across my noggin with sledgehammers and machetes.”

Here’s a pro-tip: When you come up to groups like this, don’t attack the leader first. That’s a good way to call the entire bunch to your location. Instead, learn from my fatal mistake and swing around to the back, pick off smaller bunches, and work your way to the boss.


My second wish was for a loyal best friend. The genies summoned a terrible dirt golem that proceeded to give me such bear hugs that my head became sort of a really gross Pez dispenser for my guts.

The search for the secret of the Jinn sent me scurrying all over the City of the Sun God. I dug for fragments of a particular tablet while fending off all sorts of nasty beasties.


My third wish was to wish for a thousand more wishes, naturally. Yet when I realized that all of these wishes were poisoned against me by sour-faced Jinn who have some sort of eternal grudge against us “monkeys,” I might as well have wished to have a colony of fire ants to settle into my nostrils.

The full tablet completed, I ran back to Ptahmose. He was, as always, helping to save the world by sitting his butt on some luggage and looking glum.


The tablet spoke of the “Unbound” — the very first Jinn, created from all of the elements, not just one. So he’s not only incredibly powerful but suuuuuuper ticked off and uncontrollable. So much so that other forces trapped him in a pocket dimension so that he wouldn’t escape and cause a global cataclysm.

Hey, we can only suffer that World of Warcraft expansion once in our lives, thank you very much.

The tremors? That’s someone or something trying to breach the Unbound’s prison and set him free. Going to have to put a stop to that, I think.


One thought on “The Secret World: Three terrible wishes

  1. Sylow June 16, 2016 / 6:58 am

    Interesting interpretation of the story. 🙂

    Also I agree, Ptahmose has the perfect way to deal with trouble: point you at it and wait. 🙂

    On Jinn, I find it interesting in the new museum. Jinn are in the “hell” section, listed among demons. It just confirms what I always thought, they are the worst of them all.

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