Star Control 2: Ur’Quitters

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(This is part of my journey going checking out Star Control 2. You can follow the entire series on the Retro Gaming page.)

I’m not back in normal space for more than a minute when I’m accosted by this elder god horror. The little inset creature reminds me of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s Krang, so I’m going to call them the Krangs until I learn different. It seems pretty put out that I’m a human roaming the stars. Racism is real, people.

Actually, the battle screen informs me that these are the dreaded Ur’Quan in the flesh. Ugly little twerps. I’m going to enjoy wiping the galaxy of their slimy presence. Buuuut probably not right now. They’re pretty tough and I don’t want to lose ships if I don’t have to.

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I head over to the Zog-Fot-Pik homeworld for some more laughs and discussion with these delightfully zany aliens. They suggest a mutual-assistance pact right from the start, so that’s a good sign. Little worried about me stealing their atmosphere, which I guess is something I’m known for in these parts. Where would I keep it?

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Anyway, I suggest an alliance and they latch onto it like a drowning sailor to a life preserver. Anything to keep from getting slaughtered — and they’ll even release details to their Stinger-class ships. The aliens talk more about this interesting war that’s apparently going on between the Ur’Quan and another faction called the Kohr-Ah. With free civilizations in the crossfire, this war is a danger to everyone.

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There’s a lot to be learned from these goofy aliens. The guy in the back doesn’t talk, apparently. Ever. Also, there’s a sport called Frungy that the alien on the right is crazy over and the alien on the left is completely sick about hearing. I want to know more about FRUNGY, right now.

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Speaking of the Kohr-Ah, one ambushes me the second I leave the good guys’ home world. It’s obviously related to the Ur’Quan, although even uglier and also sporting a trophy bone pit. That’s normal and not serial killer behavior at all. Why, I fondle trophies from MY bone pit every evening!

Fortunately, my portal generator allows me to instantly enter quasi-space on demand, which lets me evade any pursuing ships. I head home to offload cargo, repair, and find out what’s been going on.

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In addition to noting that my alliance is growing, Commander Keen says that there looks like there’s a large fleet on the move somewhere and that the probe plague is growing exponentially. I really should put a stop to them soon, eh.

Also, the Zog-Fot-Pik (I think) dropped off three free ships for me to use. My fleet — and power — grows! I am the master of the universe! Or at least this sector!

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