(Join Syp as he attempts to document a complete playthrough of The Secret World from start to finish. What will The Secret Adventures discover next? Find out in this exciting installment! WARNING: Spoilers and stories ahead!)
The Stained Oasis (action mission)
We come to the oldest daughter, Nefertari, or as I nicknamed her, Old Stick-in-the-Mud. She’s all about justice and doing duty and not questioning father, just as her younger sister berates her for always being such a rule-follower. “You know, being a stone statue really suits you.”
So lovely getting in the middle of family squabbles. ANYWAY. The oasis has become less a refuge and sanctuary and more a place of ugliness thanks to the Filth and creatures. Seeing as how stone statues have a very low success rate at killing mobs, I guess I’ll pick up the slack.
The cool twist to this mission is that you’re not just killing cultists — you’re exposing their souls and calling down judgment upon them. The first guy was burned alive by the breath of a terrible monster, so let’s assume that it’s not going to be bouquets of flowers for good behavior from here on out.
As I find out when I come across a camp of corpses and need some back up, this guy is Ammit or somesuch, and he is a wickedly wonderful ally to have at your side. Wish he could join me on a journey through the rest of the game, but we’ll always have our time tearing through waves of cultists and their corrupted spirits.
The world is falling into apocalypse. Filth, cultists, and a Black Pharoah with a massive army are ready to pour over the countryside. All I got is seven statues and a chainsaw. Bring it on.
The 3rd Age (investigation mission)
The statue family conversation du jour concerns why, exactly, the Atenists were called out into the desert instead of consolidating their power elsewhere. Nefertari notes that “the sand is thin” and what is underneath is much more easily found. Such as ancient artifacts? Go now, Syp, and investigate, for this is an investigation mission and that is what you do!
The fun begins when I find a clockwork key and a treasure map, the combination of which suggests something that shall while away the hours with light-hearted fun. Or I’m off to Comic-Con.
Oddly enough, the cultist map points to the location of four mini-custodians. You know, those giant clockwork robots that guard Agartha? So what are they doing out here?
Each custodian, when wound up with the key, doddles a fair way until it points at the location of a disc quarter. It took a bit of traversing the zone, but I found all four of the parts of the disc, including one stolen by a now-dead Orochi soldier. That one required some information from a Marx Brothers film, because why not?
Probably the hardest part of the mission, for me, was finding the entrance to the underground temple where I was supposed to take the disc. It was some location I’d never been to before, so I got to know this annoying desert map a lot better than before by the time all was said and done.
Here is me whistling while I roller-skate through an underground complex. I do not believe in mummies. I do believe in mummies. STAY THE HECK AWAY FROM ME MUMMIES.
All of this leads me to a hologram-spitting sarcophagus. That’s neat and all, but where are my answers? The bad guys were after third age artifacts, sure, but… what are they? What is this hologram robot guy saying? Can I use the artifacts? Funcom, will you ever end a mission with some sort of satisfying conclusion other than an abrupt halt?