Star Control 2: Procreation vacation


(This is part of my journey going checking out Star Control 2. You can follow the entire series on the Retro Gaming page.)

In my souped-up starship, I now feel practically invincible and raring for a fight. Scouting around more star systems, I come across a rabid dog-bunny alien in a malfunctioning vessel that thinks, somehow, that I am Ur-Quan. Oh, the delicious irony!


For you, the day I came to your small village was the most significant day of your life. For me, it was… Tuesday.

But egads does this guy have a chip on his shoulder. Would be a great ally against the Ur-Quan, don’t you think?


So oddly enough, the way to this little guy’s good graces isn’t being kind to him or blowing him up, but to insult him. Repeatedly. The game tosses out many choice insults that I will have to remember for the next time that I’m in a bout of road rage.

After a few rounds of insults, he realizes that I’m not an Ur-Quan and decides to become my friend instead. His is a sad story, as he’s the last survivor of his entire species. Everyone else was in their system when they made their sun go nova to get rid of an invading fleet. Mutual assured destruction and all that. So for now, he’s just going to hang out here and guard what’s left of his system in a ship that’s falling apart.

So here’s the plan: We’re going to find this poor fella some girls and attempt to repopulate his species. The only problem is procuring them.


“Klingons ahead, captain! Off the stern bow!” “That’s Star Trek, ya numbskull!”


My quest to find some Shofixti females led me to these disgusting aliens called the VUX. In addition to being a Japanese manga nightmare, the VUX are powerfully xenophobic and rather dislike humans in particular.


All of them hate humans except for one: Admiral ZEX. I keep writing “SEX” and boy does that change the tone of this whole post. Anyway, ZEX enjoys humans for our anatomy, mostly because he’s a collector of interesting aliens that he keeps on his own personal zoo planet. He’s got some Shofixti down there, but he’s not going to give them up unless I can find him a specimen even better.


It takes a goodly amount of traveling and effort, but finally I track down the vile beast, pummel it into submission, and engage in the questionable practice of space slavery. All to help some rabbits reproduce.


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