SWTOR: S’mores and Jedi


I’ve dragged my feet long enough on returning to Star Wars: The Old Republic, which might be appropriate considering that my character is quite the reluctant hero. I’m, oh, about a year behind? Something like that. Eternal Throne is already an old hat, and I’m still in the last third of Fallen Empire. Such is the fate of the player plagued with skipping forever through MMOs.

It really has been on my mind to get back to the game, if only to take players up on the common sentiment that the newest expansion has one heck of a story that’s worth playing even if you’re not going to be doing endgame gear grinding. My Agent has been on a journey ever since launch and I definitely have a deep fondness for this game, despite how much it has changed. It’s worth it to me to at least catch up on the story.


I’m on Chapter 12, and my team is getting ready to go back to Zakuul for about the 20th time just to streak past Arcann’s throne and go “NYAH NYAH CAN’T CATCH ME!” What’s that, Arcann? Starting to annoy you how much we keep mooning you and then darting away?


Poor baby. He’s like a poster child for Sith health care: “Join the Dark Side, get half your body burned off and replaced by ugly prosthetics!”

Anyway, before we head back to Zakuul for a mission to take over the transmission tower controlling the Eternal Fleet, Lana has the bright idea that I should go consult my personal ghost to get any tips on how to infiltrate. As usual, there isn’t an option to say “SHUT UP LANA” and I am let down by BioWare for the umpteenth time. Job-stealing jerkess.


At least it’s a good excuse to wander around Odessa at night, which is definitely one of the prettier planets that the devs have made in this game. It’s kind of like the planet of summer camps, what with the fireflies, pine trees, picturesque creeks, and actual Jedi camping out. But we’ll get to that in a second.


First things first: the Emperor is being his usual preachy, condescending self, demanding that I take on the role of a student in need of all of his great wisdom and gifts. But that’s not who my character is. She may not be arrogant or all-powerful, but she has always been highly resistant to people trying to control her and force her down a path. When it comes to Valkorion, she wants nothing to do with him. She kicks against him every time, shuts him down, and refuses to listen. There’s no bargaining here, no coming to a mutual understanding.

I’m an Imperial Agent, darn it, and I don’t need any mystical Force crud to help me succeed. I do that on talent, skill, and tech toys alone. You Jedi and Sith can go stuff it.

Vakorion gets majorly ticked at me, sending me on a vision quest of sorts that ends up in a prolonged fight that I could’ve won except that he cheats his way out of it. Following that, I wake up on a strange starship, still on the planet, only to bump into a very old character.


Yes, it’s Satele Shan, looking much more matronly and angry than her earlier incarnation. She’s also talking to a force ghost. Obi-Wan, is that you?

Anyway, she’s pitted herself firmly against Valkorion, so I guess maybe she’s a way out of my predicament. But I’m not inclined to be that friendly to the Republic either. Kind of tired of all of the factions, to be honest, and again, any Force-user has me suspicious and distant. Plus, Shan seems to have taken a page from the Yoda playbook of “When the good guys are losing, just run away and camp out on a planet for a while until a mentor comes along to fix everything for you.” Can we just call Yoda a coward? I liked him and all that, but in light of the prequels, he really was.

Now Satele sends me on a vision quest of her own, and I am officially tired of these people jerking me around. Can I start my own empire already?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s