City of Heroes returns! (totally not a clickbait headline)

“Hey guys and gals! Remember that awesome superhero MMO that ran for eight years? The one with that kick-butt character creator? All of the costume contests? The claw hands? Super-jumping? Badges and mission architect? The puking zombies and thinly disguised Nazis? The endless stream of pun-themed outfits? The mix-and-match powersets?

“Remember how wonderful it was? How it felt like home? How there was just no other MMORPG out there like it?

“Remember?

“Remember how it was still turning a profit, still doing decently, still bringing in the crowds? Remember how we stepped on it and killed it without a second thought? Remember all of the last-ditch vigils and letter-writing campaigns that we ignored? Remember how we laughed from across the ocean at any entreaties to cut the game and its studio loose?

“Remember how we kept that dead MMO and its IP as a trophy in our president’s cigar room as a conversation piece to show how powerful he was? Remember how we used to laugh at the buckets of tears that fans would FedEx us weekly? Remember how we launched Guild Wars 2 like a week later and expected all of those superhero players to migrate because one MMO is as good as another?

“Remember how we were making that MOBA that pulled from all of our properties and thought, hey, why not dig up the rotting corpse of that superhero game’s iconic character and shoehorn him into the new game? Oh man, that was good. It’ll go down as the Face Slap Heard ‘Round the World, and we’ll still make bank on these chumps.

“Good times. Good times.”

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3 thoughts on “City of Heroes returns! (totally not a clickbait headline)

  1. Wilhelm Arcturus March 22, 2017 / 9:35 am

    They’re making a MOBA in 2017. They will reap the whirlwind of folly and you can call it justice.

  2. Syp March 22, 2017 / 2:37 pm

    True, true.

  3. Athie March 22, 2017 / 8:36 pm

    Watch for my Kickstarter coming soon. It’s for a survival sandbox/MOBA hybrid in which the combat is collectible-card-based and the crafting system revolves around an augmented-reality exercise game. It’s an original IP but we like to think of it as the spiritual successor to Star Wars: Galaxies, City of Heroes, Firefall, and the Wizard of Oz for some reason. If we reach all our stretch goals, we will hire Mark Kern and the Greedmonger guy as corporate mascots.

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