ESO: How to kill an elf god

OK, I fully admit that I don’t have the first idea of what I’m doing in Elder Scrolls Online. My gear is a mish-mash of plate armor, ascots, cardigans, leather strips, and chafe-inducing thongs. Yes, thongs plural. If I’m given a task and a direction, I’ll just start making a beeline for it according to my compass, no matter what’s in the way. Let’s say that if I operated a motor vehicle like this, my car would be plowing through marshland and nursing home with impunity.

Am I playing right? There’s some sort of main questline about a god losing his powers, but I keep getting distracted by quest chains picked up along the way. Should I be spreading out my power usage for skill ups? I keep spamming my basic cliff diver animal summons in the hope of one day earning a bear. I assume that if I get a bear, I win the game and become the new raid boss. I think I’d make a great raid boss. I’m perfect with pointless speeches in the middle of looking pompous.

In a way, being so clueless is liberating. I’m just experiencing, not worrying about optimal leveling paths or looking for something different than what I’ve done before. And Elder Scrolls Online is, so far, a great game to just play tourist. It’s pretty, it’s amusing, and you can pretty much loot everything. Of course, most all of the loot is worthless, but if the price of chipped plates ever skyrockets, then I’m going to be a rich man.

One thing I do know is that this man right here must die. I’m not an idiot, I know that I just immigrated to an entire island of elves and that I’m going to have to pretend to be on their side once in a while before my master revenge plan is complete. But I have to draw the line when it comes to helping some sort of defective elf god restore his powers.

No. flipping. way. My theory? You take the head elf down and the full elf kingdom will fall. Elves will be sucked into the abyss and I will plunder their ill-gotten loot. Now how to kill him? That… I am working on. It might take some doing. I don’t care what people saying about this doofus being so incredibly powerful, we could probably dogpile him with a thousand noobs and chisel his health bar down to nothing. After that, my bear’s going to eat him as a pre-bedtime snack.

What I am genuinely enjoy the most are the quests and dialogue. I don’t know what it is, but ESO has very engaging quest lines. The characters, their conversations with you, and their scripting pops. It’s not as belabored as FFXIV or as stilted as SWTOR, just enough to have some fun, make its point, and keep the story moving. I was pretty surprised how many of these quests featured scripting and mid-quest conversations. Even little epilogue vignettes!

The mind-controlling spiders who wanted victims to dance was decidedly odd and interesting, particularly when the questgiver turned out to be an incredibly snobby Breton rich lady with little regard for her servants’ well-being. Maybe I can recruit her in my war against elves.

It’s even pretty funny at times. This guy’s an even worse fibber than I am.


2 thoughts on “ESO: How to kill an elf god

  1. Bhagpuss July 7, 2017 / 12:58 pm

    Your illustrations remind me how much I really, really hate the font ESO uses for quests/dialog. Is there an add-on to change it, I wonder? It wasn’t the main reason i stopped playing ESO (that was the combat) but it was a significant contributory factor and the main reason I still think of ESO as having very bad quests.

  2. Sylow July 7, 2017 / 1:53 pm


    When i decided to really get into the game, i installed a number of addons. My priorities were around inventory management (better filters), a bit of UI Upgrades (e.g. moving the bars closer together), a minimap and some better chat functionality. (Even with addons the chat is not on the level of old TSW, which coicidentally was better than SWL, as in the new game the person resonsible for UI consistency was on vacations or something… for sure he didn’t read the feedback in the beta forums, where we pointed out usability issues and consistency flaws… )

    So while i haven’t checked for a font change addon, i very much remember that i found a number of addons for ESO which had something like “font fix” and “font change” in the name or description. It’s very likely that you’ll have to allow the game to run outdated addons, as addons are considered outdated after almost every patch, so anything older than a month or two the game first switches off, but they generally still work fine. (Also, it’s LUA, so finding and fixing one or another issue is not that hard. One addon i use i jury-rigged together myself and another one i changed a bit to better match the rest of my setup. )

    And on the combat driving you away: sure it’s your call, but i personally think you’re a bit too harsh here. For a reticule based system it’s acceptable. It’s not in league with DCU, which still is the best of all reticule based combat systems i saw yet (despite it very much showing its age by now), but it is responsive and has some control aspects which you couldn’t do without the mouse control. Thus it doesn’t have the same feeling of quickly being slapped over to copy a trend of some other reticule based combat systems.

    For what it is, and considering older elder scrolls games, i find it very appropriate. I even have to admit that while DCU is the best reticule combat i know, it would not fit this games style and atmosphere at all. So looking at the complete package, lore and history of the game and its predecessory, in terms of combat they couldn’t have done much better.

    And on bad quests: really? I mean sure, it’s writing is not on par with TSW, but it can easly hold its ground vs. SWtoR. Sure the presentation is a bit old school. The quality of the voice acting is very mixed, some voice actors were awesome, some rather mediocre, and the animations to that is often very wooden, but in my eyes it doesn’t hurt too much.

    In turn, you’re not surprised that the one-line of “what i answer” then turns into something else when fully voiced, like it happened all too often to me in SWtoR. Instead, i found that in ESO answers and decisions actually matter. There’s a number of missions where you are forced to make a moral decission somewhere, and quite often there’s no obvious good or bad, right or wrong, but a choice between different evils, different believes, etc…

    I consider that to be very interesting game design. Sure not all missions are of that quality, there’s also a lot of smaller missions, but rarely do they feel like pure unnecessary timesink sidemissions discussed on this blog a few days ago. Most missions do add something to the game in my eyes.

    So my personal guess would be that the perceived problem is more along the line that mechanically, by what you do in game to progress missions, the game sometimes feels a bit limitated? Because that’s something i also feel. The writing is good, but mechanically it still always boils down to “kill x” and “fetch y” with a few variations and combinations in between. But then hey, quests in almost any MMO are like that, i just can’t pin it down why it feels a bit more obvious to me in this game than in many others. So i guess my judgement here might even be a fittle unfair?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s