10 of the strangest planned features for Chronicles of Elyria

If you haven’t heard about Chronicles of Elyria, what you need to know is that this was an out-of-the-blue Kickstarter success a couple of years ago that made some ambitious claims (reinventing MMOs, etc.) and came away with $1.36M and a loyal cadre of followers. It’s being made by a fairly inexperienced team that’s hired on a few vets and has been keeping my eyebrows high from how much they want to do over the next two years. They’re not only building an MMO with apparently every feature under the sun, but they’re also constructing THREE other prologue experiences (a single-player game, a visual MUD, and a web game) to lead into it.

I’m not super-on board with this game. It’s PvP, it seems like there’s no way they can pull this off, and they’re doing some rather hinky things with letting people pay more money for status and to position themselves advantageously prior to launch. That said, I’ll try to keep an open mind if and when it comes out.

But what I wanted to do today was to look at Elyria’s recent state of the game post in which the team listed its *condensed* feature set and pick out some of the strangest, oddest, or most inexplicable to share with you.

1. Animal Reproduction

I like to imagine that there’s a guy at this studio who starts every meeting by slamming his hands down on the table and booming, “OK team, where are we on animal reproduction?” And then they talk about squirrels doing it for a half an hour.

2. Contract Clauses, Conjunctions, Remuneration, Rights, Responsibilities and Signatures

You have to have a four-year law degree to play Chronicles of Elyria.

3. Soulmates

D’AWWWWWWW. My only problem here is picking just one! I’m also wondering if this is connected to the feature labeled “Procreation Requirements.”

Chronicles of Elyria is deeply concerned about sex.

4. Squatting

Also, pooping.

5. Acid Rain

I’m all for various types of weather effects, but how do you pull this off without turning the rain green or making it melt your clothes and/or skin? I’m not saying that wouldn’t be awesome, but it would be fairly extreme.

6. Gossip

Can an MMORPG be a high school teenage girl?

7. Pet Survival

Your guess is as good as mine what this refers to, but either it’s a timer that says how long your faithful dog will last in your house while you’re off adventuring before starving to death, or it’s a new survival minigame in which you harvest resources and build a dog house to fight off cat invaders.

8. Revolution

The revolt will be gamified! At its highest level, it will allow players to depose developers and install one of their own.

9. Spouse and Child Locking

I’ve stared at this one for a good three minutes and I am at a loss. It doesn’t sound comfortable or caring, that’s for sure. There’s also one for “child contracts” and that sounds downright illegal. Probably has to do with “orphanages” a little later on.

10. Puddles

I’ll take back all my sarcasm here if I can make a big splash in a puddle by running and jumping into the middle of one. Bonus points if I can soak passers-by.


2 thoughts on “10 of the strangest planned features for Chronicles of Elyria

  1. Shintar August 4, 2017 / 4:49 pm

    Spouse and child locking sounds to me like you would be able to choose to be related to another player and the game would acknowledge that in some way. Or maybe that’s just my inner RPer speaking.

  2. Rowan August 4, 2017 / 8:03 pm

    Se,, And I was thinking it might be a way to restrict spouses’ and children’s time playing the game. “No Animal Reproduction until your chores are done!”

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