Toonstruck: A cow wearing leather ain’t right

(This is part of my journey going playing through 1996’s Toonstruck. You can follow the entire series on the Retro Gaming page.)

Drew and Flux head back to Zanydu to take a closer look at Jim’s Gym. Before they go in, however, they check out the odd-looking security guard who is guarding an outhouse. Since everything in Zanydu is nonsensical, he’s guarding the place against illicit fish-flushing and won’t leave his post until the Zanydu clock chimes. Which it won’t, since it’s broken. I love the guard’s Dragnet-like monotone as he quotes his regulations and threatens Drew with dry violence.

Ever wonder what a gym for cartoons would look like? This… this would probably be it, especially if a bulldog (who sounds a lot like Arnold Schwartzenegger) ran it. He’s a bit antagonistic toward Drew, so in return, Drew butters up his vault and asks for a demonstration of Jim’s routine. This results in a delightful cutscene:

The bulldog’s exit leaves an opening for Drew to pump up. I love Christopher Lloyd’s little muscle flexing animation he does at the end of this.

Meanwhile, Count Nefarious used his Malevolator to turn the Cutopia barn into something dark… something twisted… something far more grey.

I don’t even want to show you this next screencap. You shouldn’t have to be subjected to the… horrors… the udder depravity of this new barn. But we must see what we are up against in the fight against Nefarious!

OK, I’m out. That’s it. I’ve hit my weirdness quotient and need to go eat some vanilla ice cream and watch Wheel of Fortune for an hour or so to normalize.

[one hour later]

Anyway, the barn’s turned into this BDSM show with way too much whipping and leather, and Elmer is gone while a glue machine is happily churning out its new product. That mystery doesn’t take much mental work to solve. Poor Elmer. He’s now glue. Oh! I get it!

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