Posted in Retro Gaming

Space Quest V: The toxic avenger

(This is part of my journey going playing through 1993’s Space Quest V: The Next Mutation. You can follow the entire series on the Retro Gaming page.)

Well, here’s an interesting development. Following Roger’s bizarre rescue of Cliffy via space monkey sabotage on the Spacebar, Flo has taken a keen interest in the captain. As in, she’s offering him backrubs and innuendo with increasing frequency. Considering that Flo’s had like a dozen husbands and is angry at all of them, it’s probably best if Roger steers clear of getting entangled in her love life.

Here’s another interesting development on the Eureka: W-D40 has been rebuilt and reprogrammed to become a member of the crew. At this point, the ship is starting to look like a cozy family rather than an uncomfortable collection of work associates. Give us a cuddle, W-D40!

In any case, at the next trash pickup job, the crew discover that (a) there is no trash, and (b) the colony below isn’t answering any hails. This calls for an investigation. Upon beaming down, Drool and Roger find a deserted, trashed colony that’s absolutely creepy in its silence.

It’s not completely deserted, however. A mutant leaps out and tries to hawk green spit in Roger’s face to make him “pretty.”

I think it’s an improvement! Too bad you can’t play out the rest of the game looking like this. Anyway, if Roger dodges enough of these toxic loogies, Drool comes along to blast the mutant off of him. The mutant, uh, un-mutizes for some reason and gasps out “bad soup… secret path… over the ridge” before dying. Guess the entire colony got turned into these discount X-Men. The colony’s activity log says that the Goliath — Quirk’s ship — arrived a few weeks back, then attacks by mutants started happening, until finally the whole colony was converted and the rest of the mutants took off in a shuttle. After a short hike up the ridge, Roger confirms that there is a canister of some sort of genetic toxic waste, dumped there by a corporation. That ain’t not good.

Oh, and it gets even better. I mean, worse. The Eureka gets a mayday from the Goliath, saying that it is being infiltrated by the colony mutants. A brief cutscene shows that the mutation is spreading everywhere. Captain Quirk looks positively hungover in his new form. The crew decidedes to head over to Thrakus and investigate. There’s an escape pod from the Goliath that landed on the surface, which means another planetary EVA.

Of course, it’d help if Roger wore a breathing mask when he went down into a toxic atmosphere with a breathing mask.

It turns out that Beatrice was the sole non-mutated survivor of the Goliath, which Roger discovers when she ambushes him and rolls him off a cliff. About the point where she’s pulling his pants down to keep from falling, she realizes her mistake — and the real mutants show up. She says they’re “Pukoids,” because of the toxic puke, and who am I to argue? The pair escape in the nick of time by being beamed back up to the ship.

The good news is that Beatrice pulled the Goliath’s warp core distributor cap, keeping the ship from going to lite speed and endangering the rest of the galaxy. The bad news is that Beatrice got slimed and she’s going to mutate. The only thing that Roger can do for her at the moment is put her into cryosleep and hope to find a cure. That’s what we call a real “meet cute” in the biz.

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