The Curse of Monkey Island: Sunburned!

(This is part of my journey going playing through 1997’s The Curse of Monkey Island. You can follow the entire series on the Retro Gaming page.)

With some clever ventriloquism, Guybrush convinces the deluded Mr. Fossey and his monkey crew to abandon the ship — but the first mate leaves before Guybrush can get him to dig up wherever they buried Elaine’s statue. So he’s just going to have to swipe the map and get to lookin’.

It turns out that the monkey crew “buried” Elaine on the stage at the theater, making her retrieval none-too-difficult. It even got a standing ovation.

With Elaine, a ship, and a crew, it’s high time — and high tide — that Guybrush gets off of Plunder Island. LeChuck is heading that way with his entire undead army this time!

My kids, who are independently playing CMI as well, keep asking me how to get into the beach club. I’m not going to tell them, but it does involve chickens and maggots.

The club is guarded by the snootiest of all snooty guys, who is repulsed by Threepwood’s meager attire — so you imagine that it’s very satisfying when you finally show him your club card and then flick a wet towel his way.

Out on the beach, Threepwood runs into a very pale man who makes his living on the hard work of others. Threepwood:

Kind of feel like the devs are being passive-aggressive here.

So you’ll never believe what you actually have to do to get the map to Blood Island. It’s on this guy’s back, so once you jump through some puzzle hoops he’ll turn over… and then you use cooking oil to get his skin to burn and then… and then…

It’s so gross. I was gagging a little. What’s wrong with you, developers?

Guybrush finally sets out on his new ship, with his new crew, and his disgusting new map! And just as quickly, his fortunes are reversed. His crew is much more interested with whale watching than helping to avoid being boarded, so Guybrush loses the map to another pirate. And then he has to navigate through a whole musical number to try to get the crew to stop singing and start sailing (hint: pick “orange” as the rhyme).

I guess we’re getting somewhere, but some days it feels like we’re just going about in circles.

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