Posted in Dungeons & Dragons Online

DDO: The Old Bonegrinder

Time for another happy-go-lucky adventure in the sparkly rainbow fields of Bavaria or Barovia or Bermuda or whatever this is. Today’s exciting adventure will take place in and around THE BONEGRINDER, a windmill with not-at-all ominous connotations.

Apparently two more kids went missing in this area, and one does start to wonder how any kids manage to reach adulthood in this country.

When I first arrive, nobody is helping me, but there is a line queuing up for “dream pies” made by hags in disguise and… yeah, it’s totally cannibalism. The pies are people! People!

Probably was a bit of a dead giveaway on the part of the developers that all of the peasants standing in line had weapons drawn, because I knew it was only a matter of time before they would be sent to attack me. Oh hey. It happened. Pew pew, I just slaughtered half a village of cannibals. Well, I’m going to sleep easy tonight.

I kick down the door of the windmill and wade in, firing all willy-nilly. I was kind of impressed that the devs kept this space small instead of pulling a TARDIS or something on us. It’s a rather cramped area for a battle against a pair of hags, which change forms midway through the fight. Lots of weird area effect spells with visual components that made it hard to see, but as my companions that day were an elf and a dog made of metal, I wasn’t too concerned about shooting blindly.

“Burn it,” said the ghost, and so I did. I do pretty much anything a polite ghost commands.

Off for a final fight against the last of the three hags. It wasn’t difficult in and of itself, although there were so many hold and stun effects that I felt like the encounter was cheating.

Anyway, dead kids avenged, aunt and uncle told, rewards grabbed.

And then I realized that the quest dumped me out half a zone away from the village I needed to get back to. And there was a vampire castle between me and it. And hundreds of enemy mobs, as I soon found out. Oh well, anyone up for a road trip?

Speaking of mobs, I was really impressed with the design and animation of these shadow mobs. When they move about, they flatten into actual shadows on the ground and then pop back up as 3-D models. Neat.

Even the gargoyles are against me. I’m going to have to murder this whole place in the face just to get a good night’s sleep.

5 thoughts on “DDO: The Old Bonegrinder

  1. I love all the Ravenloft quests, but this one and Death House are two of my favourites… they’re not necessarily part of some epic narrative (although they’re connected), they’re just the day to day happenings of Barovia. And the writing is so fun and on point that it’s on par or better than the best questlines in the game. Besides, what’s not to like about a gothic horror take on Soylent Green?

    Side note, Break Enchantment can make that final fight much easier. The CC spells can be annoying if you’ve got low will saves — but the way they cover up everything hurts either way. Although I thought it was kind of hilarious that the hags’ dark patron was a Satyr instead of a Hezrou or something.

  2. Fresh-Baked Dreams is a sort of retelling of the Hansel and Gretel tale, which is another odd similarity to The Secret World (e.g., The Park).

  3. “Although I thought it was kind of hilarious that the hags’ dark patron was a Satyr instead of a Hezrou or something.”

    It did seem rather random, didn’t it? I just assumed that it was something from Ravenloft lore, which is a setting I’ve never played PnP in.

    Google says it’s some Irish deity, but that doesn’t seem to fit, and I don’t see any connection to Ravenloft there.

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