Elder Scrolls Online: Tomb raiding with severed heads

Verticality always throws me for a loop when trying to traverse MMO zones (especially if I don’t have flying). But my golden rule here is that going down is always, always easier than going up, so seek high ground when exploring.

ESO’s Northern Elsewyer gives off a strong Indiana Jones/Tomb Raider vibe in the best of ways. Perhaps more so than I’ve experienced in other MMOs. It makes for delightful explorations of ruins and ancient civilizations.

I mean, any quest where you get to call a monkey to come to your aid is the greatest quest of the year, bar none. Thank you, ESO, for living the dream.

Speaking of animals, I forgot how awfully entertaining this Stitches heist questline was — especially since it involves a one-eyed drunk cat with magic powers. Now that’s the dream I never thought to have but really should’ve.

The call occasionally went out for teams to fight dragons, and since (a) I hate these guys and (b) I like their loot, why not? At least they put in some effort as bosses by flying around and roasting the ground.

Darkpool Mine was a cool little delve. The whole place kept shaking and sand fell down, giving the impression of an immanent collapse — all of which occasionally stunned me. And then there were quite a few mobs that actually gave me a bit of a fight, which is a nice change of pace. Really felt like I was hacking and slashing my way through it all.

I found an NPC who offered up the best in-universe example I’ve ever heard of why he doesn’t move from a single spot.

Great use of shadow and light!

Rigurt for President in 2024! He may not be the most capable candidate, but he IS the most drunk and well-intentioned!

Nothing to see here — just the rocket-powered floating head of an insane prophet who just so happens to be voiced by John Cleese.

But seriously, I’m on a really good tear here in ESO these past few weeks. I’m eagerly spending longer sessions ferreting out the stories and chewing through the zone, so hopefully this will continue and translate into more progress this year. I ended my week opening up a string of daily login crates that I got over the past few days for free. I racked up some body markings, another wolf pup pet, a moth pet, a blacksmith costume, an egg hatch emote, a sweetroll housing decoration, and a swamp jelly pet.

LOTRO: Gripes as I go through Umbar

The more I quest through Umbar, the more I’m struck by how dangerous this city is. And I don’t mean that in a “mobs to fight around every corner” sort of way. In fact, so far there have only been a few small pockets of actual combat that I’ve encountered. Rather, through the storytelling there’s a palpable sense of unease and of oppressive danger for those who might find themselves on the wrong side of the Keepers of the Coin.

I kind of dig it. It’s been a while since I felt uneasy in a place in LOTRO, but here we are.

You know why I don’t like most RPG cities? It’s because they’re mazes. Mazes aren’t fun in dungeons and they aren’t that much more enjoyable even when they’re gussied up with pretty buildings. There’s nothing that sours me on a locale quite as fast as difficult navigation, and cluttered cities like this have that in spades.

But hey, canals. Would be nice to have a boat!

Grousing about navigation aside, I have enjoyed the stories in this seaside city. There are a lot of surprising twists and outcomes, such as one that had me trying to get a shiphand signed back on with his beloved crew — only to hear from them that the guy was a rather terrible sailor. But instead of rejecting him outright, they passed the hat and collected funds to help him start a new career, which I thought was rather gracious of them.

Have I said that I wish LOTRO had player boats? Because I do. This isn’t a game with flying, so boats would be a nice in-game way to move and explore the world. Even Guild Wars 2 did skiffs, so it can’t be impossible!

My least favorite quests in this city are the “hang up X number of fliers” or other similar quests. It’s all too crammed in here, and the map devolves into blurs that would probably push a colorblind gamer to drink. Having that one last item you need elude you is frustrating, especially if there aren’t extra clickies out there — only the exact number.

LOTRO: Challenge run rebooted

Feeling antsy and in need of something to do in LOTRO that isn’t endgame expansion stuff, I returned to the concept of my “challenge run” character this week. In short, it’s a character who starts fresh on a server with no wardrobe/money/advantages, toggles fearless difficulty, and does every solo zone quest and deed in the game. A completionist run, more or less.

So this is Moonglade 2.0, a Hunter on the Gladden server. Before I get into her adventures, let me just say that hitting the “random” button at character creation with one of the advanced races is inviting yourself to a freakshow that will keep you up at nights. I didn’t know it was possible for this game to generate so many hideous characters, but let me assure you, it can.

After setting up my UI, cleaning out my bags, and getting the blessing of a big ol’ bird, I was finally ready to begin my very, very, very long trek in LOTRO. Good luck, Moony!

Still love that fade to black screen. It’s a nice touch.

Starting at Mossward at level 1 on fearless is significantly challenging, especially since I’m avoiding doing any quests here (for now). My main goal to start is to grind on birds — the easiest mobs here — until I’m level 6 and can run over to the Shire. Hitting level 2 helped a lot, because then I could spec into my yellow line and get both a knockdown trap and a decoy. The latter in particular is a huge assist, as it taunts the mobs and lets me just plink away at them.

After an hour or so struggling through those difficult first few levels, I dinged 6 and got set up in the Shire — and stumbled across a welcoming kin along the way. Now I’m in for a full Shire run, which should take me a while.

One thing I did notice that Gladden seems to have a lot more lag than Landroval. In the Shire and Bree, I occasionally experienced stuttering and even a couple cases of significant rubberbanding. That doesn’t bode well.

For those who care, I’m running a yellow build with my Hunter. So far I am loving every minute of it. While I can’t get pets with this class, having decoys and traps are a good consolation prize. It offers supreme control over the battlefield and allows me to walk away from tough fights unscathed.

Every time I go through the Shire — and I’ve done so countless times — I do try to spot or explore something new and different for me. This time around, it was the small detail of the curvy chimneys that I never noticed before.

If you’re going beyond the mere quest deed in the Shire to doing ALL of the quests, you’re in for a very long haul, my friend. This zone is ridiculously packed with stuff to do, and the only way I can manage it is to clear out one little hamlet at a time while trying (usually in vain) to optimize my routes.

Bio Break Mix Tape: Mike Rayburn, Mary Lou Lord, and more!

It’s the start of the week, so why not start it off right with some great tunes? Enjoy your latest Bio Break Mix Tape, a random collection of awesome songs that I’ve discovered lately and want to pass on to you to enjoy too…

Elder Scrolls Online: Bathing weirdos

Every time I think I’m done with Eastmarch, I find another little quest hub or some more stuff to do on the map. If I was in a rush, it’d be aggravating, but I like that satisfying feeling of scratching everything off the list before moving on.

Sometimes I do entertain thoughts of rerolling, maybe as a Necro or Arcanist, just to get that fresh start feeling and try out a different class. But there’s so much I haven’t seen on this one character that it seems silly to stop — and I do love my Warden.

Dude, if you use a magic lute to lure people asleep to rob them and then a bunch of homicidal monsters bust in and kill several people, I leave you to your own fate. That’s Syp Justice(tm).

One final public dungeon later, and this zone is completely DONE. I’ll admit, I’m going to miss it — if nothing else than for its beautiful northern wintry views.

I used the zone guide to make a list of all of the regions I have yet to fully quest/map and came up with a whole lot more than I thought — 27 of them, in fact. I honestly assumed that I had chewed through at least half this game, but I guess I’m not close to that yet. So on to (rolls dice) Northern Elseweyr for some savannah adventures!

Nothing to see here, just an eccentric elf taking a bath in a public fountain.

Random shower thought in ESO: How come everyone in this world — EVERYONE — has the exact same handwriting on letters and in books? That is the master conspiracy that I want to unravel.

Statues at night and by firelight have a greater gravitas. Less so with Cadwell, the kooky prophet, although I am glad to bump into him again. John Cleese’s voice is always welcome to me.

Even though dragons really aren’t my thing, I have to admit that ESO can pull off a scripted encounter like few MMOs truly can. This one was pretty neat.

LOTRO: From the Shire to Umbar with love

And here I am, in Umbar at last. A very long journey for my Hobbit Minstrel, but she’s not done yet. Now comes the slightly intimidating task of getting to know this city, which I guess I’ll do by bouncing from quest to quest along the way. That seems to work in most situations rather than a door-to-door methodical search.

Fortunately, the eye candy remains potent. And there is no shortage of errands to do, as every crew member of the ship has a questline to accomplish.

I’m kind of struck by how far LOTRO’s progressed in architectural details since the early days of a rather bland Bree (and company). The art team really does not get enough credit for pushing the boundaries of what this game engine can put out.

This is generally how I cope with feeling overwhelmed and lost in big cities in MMOs. But I keep going! And I’m curious about Umbar, because there’s an interesting political situation here. It’s clear that the last regime was oppressive, but there are also some pretty strong hints that the current leadership isn’t that much better — despite people thinking that they’ve been freed.

Add this vineyard-themed tavern to the growing list of LOTRO bars. I love the extra detail and touches here, especially as this pairs well with the Mediterranean landscape.

An interesting storyline involved gaining the trust of an animal exploiter/abuser in order to rescue the critters. Considering the sheer volume of virtual animals I’ve killed in this game to date, saving four of them feels like a drop in the bucket in comparison. But it was still a good story.

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the happiest turtle in all of LOTRO.

Battle Bards Episode 231: Caravan Stories 2

Returning to the fertile soundtrack of Caravan Stories, Syl and Syp are rejoined by Steff to give us a fresh take! It’s another journey through a charming and laid-back MMO landscapes.

Episode 231 show notes (show page, direct download)

• Intro (feat. “Entrust a Will,” “Toasting Dance,” and “Open the Map”)
• “Foothills of Carvendel”
• “Enigma Rips the Sky”
• “Folka Village”
• “Baldu Pipe Town”
• “Slapstick Castanet”
• “Glenmore Fault Valley”
• Which one did we like best?
• Listener mail from Minimalistway
• Jukebox Picks: “Graphorn Ride” from Hogwarts Legacy, “To the Heroes of the Light” from Bravely Default II, and “Subterra” from A Boy and His Blob
• Outro (feat. “Outpouring of Armaments”)

• Talk to the Battle Bards on Twitter!
• Follow Battle Bards on iTunes, Stitcher, Player.FM, Google Play, iHeartRadio, and Pocket Casts!
• This podcast is produced using copyrighted material according to Fair Use practices as stated under Section 107 of the 1976 Copyright Act.

FFXIV: Sticking it to shrews

I kicked off this week by doing my level 40 Dragoon job questline. She’s coming along, my little jumper, although it hasn’t stopped me from thinking about some other jobs on the side. I wouldn’t mind having a healer on hand — I flirt with White Mage and Scholar at times — and I’m almost definitely going to get Machinist in the first expansion. Dancer is another must-have, but that’ll have to wait until I pony up and pay for future expansions.

Even though I wasn’t able to do quite as much questing last week, it was enough to put me over the halfway mark in ARR — only 150 quests to go! Don’t despair, Syp!

Yup, I feel like a true man now, killing some cute little innocent fat animal thing that certainly doesn’t look like a stuffed animal my kids have in their beds. DIE MONSTER! I SEND YOU BACK TO THE PIT OF SUFFERING!

I paused in the MSQ for a day or two to get a Scholar up to snuff. I have so much XP coming in that it feels like a waste not to be pouring it into at least two classes, and I do kind of miss my fairy familiar.

Come, Tinkerbell, we have worlds to conquer! I hope you’re packing more than magic dust in those hotpants. Also, I need pants. Can’t I be a Dragoon with a fairy?

While I generally like snowy/winter zones in MMOs, there’s something about Coerthas that makes me want to be far from it. Perhaps it’s the over-abundance of elves and general haughty storylines, or perhaps that it’s simply frigid landscape with no real beauty to it. Well, back to stabbing things with my fireworks spear here!

Bio Break Mix Tape: Jason Ward, Feeder, and more!

It’s the start of the week, so why not start it off right with some great tunes? Enjoy your latest Bio Break Mix Tape, a random collection of awesome songs that I’ve discovered lately and want to pass on to you to enjoy too…

SWTOR: A very big ship indeed

It’s kind of a novelty to be further in an MMO than you ever have been before — especially if it’s one that you’ve been playing since launch. I suppose if I had been more purposeful and less distracted during my time in SWTOR, I would already have eight endgame characters, but as it stands, I only have the one that’s pushed past Onslaught. And here we go!

Almost immediately, there’s a quest presented to find Satele and some other Force-users that got dunked into a coma after fighting the last vestiges of the Emperor’s power — and then put on a wandering ship (because of “communicable plague” reasons) that got lost. Somehow. Shouldn’t be too hard to find a spaceship in an entire galaxy, right?

“For the record, this ship was not creepy when we left,” said Kira.

“This ship is huge,” I said. “Yes. Is there a question?” asked Scourge. “Why such a big ship?” “Argh.”

I totally didn’t expect to see Revan again — even in Force Ghost form — so long after his expansion. But he popped up to give us a hand against the return of the Emperor. What’s up, my avatar from that game so long ago in a galaxy far, far away?

And speaking of blasts from the past, it’s Valkorion again with more of his mind games. Time to put him down like a rabid puppy.